Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JANUARY 24, 2021

Here’s The Story…..
In my neighborhood, there was a couple who had given their twin sons very weird names. One was named Trouble, while the other boy’s name was Mind Your Own Business. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking for his brother. But, somehow, he couldn’t find him anywhere. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied, “Mind Your Own Business!” Feeling insulted, the police officer still asked politely who he was looking for. Mind Your Own Business replied, “I am looking for Trouble!” 😳

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Some news for travelers here. I read that British Airways is getting rid of reclining seats
on their planes. And if you think that’s bad, Southwest just announced that their
new seats only recline forward.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Anybody here drink water but wish you could pay more for it? Well, good news, folks, because
the next big startup craze in Silicon Valley is companies offering consumers the chance to get
‘off the water grid’ with something called ‘raw water,’ which is water that is unfiltered, untreated,
and unsterilized. Wow, drinking that sounds un-sane.” -Stephen Colbert

“During a political protest on Capitol Hill today, 82 rabbis were arrested. It’s the first time D.C.
police have dispersed a crowd by spraying them with bacon.” -Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already
have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day
away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes
each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With
a 1-hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for
work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously
give 14 days’ vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and
I’ll be darned if you are going to take that day off! 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Hancock, I’ve got lunatics laughing at me from the woods. My original plan has been scuppered now that the jeeps haven’t arrived.
My communications are completely broken down. Do you really believe any of that can be helped by a cup of tea?”
“Couldn’t hurt, sir.”

Answer: A Bridge Too Far!
In this scene British Major General Robert Urquhart (Sean Connery) has just experienced the Murphy’s Law that maintains, “If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.” He is part of Operation Market Garden, an ambitious (but failed) attempt by the Allies to end World War II in Europe quickly. The plan was to use airborne paratroopers to secure three bridges behind German lines and then link up with a ground thrust by the British 30 Corp, allowing easy access over the Rhine River into Germany. General Urquhart’s part of the plan was to lead the British First Airborne Division in capturing the bridge over the Rhine at Arnhem, the Netherlands. However, Allied bombing released inmates from an insane asylum, who laughed at Urquhart’s troops, jeeps that were supposed to arrive never did, and the radios had the wrong crystals and were useless. A frustrated General Urquhart says line one and Corporal Hancock (Colin Farrell) replies with line two.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Auda will not come to Aqaba. Not for money… for Feisal… nor to drive away the Turks. He will come… because it is his pleasure.”
“Thy mother mated with a scorpion.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I contain faces of different colors
for fun they get mixed with one another
It’s easy for them to hang outside their ‘race’
but it’s quite tricky to put them back in their place
With time and patience, it can be done
but to mix them up again is way more fun.

Answer: A Rubik’s cube

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Change the position of just one of the words below so that all the words are in an alphabetical sequence:

llama, phoenix, hyena, alligator, beaver, elephant, tortoise, antelope

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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