Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY FEBRUARY 14, 2022

Here’s The Story……
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query; but, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

Arthur returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table* and Arthur’s closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

Arthur refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus: ‘What a woman really wants,’ she answered, ‘is to be in charge of her own life.’

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared and so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom; what a sight awaited him. There was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen before him. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened and the beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day….or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below, but….make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow her to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now …..what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is: “If you don’t let a woman have her own way….things are going to get ugly”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it’s a good
idea to get engaged on Valentine’s Day. The other 60 percent
were men.” -Conan O’Brien

“On Valentine’s Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets.
That seems like a waste. You don’t need to wine and dine your dog.
Either way, he’s going to hump your leg.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“The trend this year is couples saying they don’t need to get each other
anything for Valentine’s Day, because they love each other EVERY day.
I think that’s sweet, but to all the guys out there watching,
I just want to say it’s a trap!” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood.
While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said,
“I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had.”
The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Then she said, “I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.”
The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders.
The elderly woman then stated,” I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.”
This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room
his wife asked, “Was it something I said, where are you going?”
The old man looked at her and replied, “I’m going to the bathroom to get my teeth!” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Do I look like I need a psychological evaluation?”
“Not at all.”

Answer: Under Siege!
In this scene an angry Commander Krill, dressed as a drag queen (Gary Busey), shouts line one and terrorist William Strannix (Tommy Lee Jones), calmly replies with line two. Krill has just read his personnel evaluation, retrieved from the safe of Captain Adams (Patrick O’Neal) after the Captain has been killed. In the events leading up to this scene, the battleship USS Missouri is to be decommissioned and the ship’s crew is about to celebrate the birthday of Captain Adams. They’ve hired a band led by Strannix to be brought aboard, along with former Playboy playmate Jordan Tate (Erika Eleniak), who is to jump out of a cake and dance. However, Strannix is really a terrorist who plans to take over the ship and then sell the Tomahawk missiles on board. In the 1993 Academy Awards “Under Siege” was nominated for two awards but didn’t win either. The real USS Missouri has been refurbished and is on permanent public display in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii next to the USS Arizona memorial.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Name a shrub after me. Something prickly and hard to eradicate.”
“A shrub? Nonsense. I’ll name a great tortoise after you.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What is represented by this?

Jack’s Saturday
Your Tuesday 92
Bob’s Sunday
Your Thursday 24
Jill’s Wednesday
Your Friday 70
Alison’s Monday

Answer: Your days are numbered.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
In the following sentence, fill in the blanks with three words that are the same except for their first letters.

The _ would __ with soap than with body wash.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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