Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY FEBRUARY 25, 2022

Really Bad Punagraphy…

A book just fell on my head. I only have myshelf to blame.
Did you hear the joke about the little mountain? It’s hill-arious!
Where do rats go when they have a cavity? The rodentist!
I’m great friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
Where do T-rexes shop? At dino stores.
If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy!
What’s a cat’s favorite type of Mexican food? Purritos.
What do astronauts do before throwing a party in space? They planet.
What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie? They put it on paws.
What’s really fast, really loud, and tastes good with salsa? A rocket chip.
Why did the clock get shushed in the library? It was tocking too loud.
What do you call an army of babies? Infantry.
I’m an archaeologist. My career is in ruins.
What did the cupcake say to the frosting? “I’d be muffin without you!”
What did the mama cow say to the calf? “It’s pasture bedtime.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“War is what happens when language fails.”
― Margaret Atwood

“War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all;
but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness,
nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

“There are perhaps many causes worth dying for, but to me, certainly,

there are none worth killing for.”
― Albert Dietrich, Army GI, Pacifist CO: The World War II Letters of Frank Dietrich and Albert Dietrich

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess
maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always
going around the house organizing things.” The friend says, “Take a tip from me.
The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and
plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”
The first woman asked, “Did it help?”
Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.” 😳

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Take her to sea, Mr. Murdoch. Let’s stretch her legs.”
“Yes sir.”
Answer: Titanic!
In this scene Captain Smith (Bernard Hill) is talking to his First Officer Murdoch (Ewan Stewart) on an upper deck of RMS Titanic, after it leaves port on its very first voyage. Captain Smith says line one, while holding a cup of tea, and First Officer Murdoch replies with line two. The movie “Titanic” tells the true-life story of the luxurious White Star ocean liner RMS Titanic, that sank in 1912 on its maiden voyage, through the lives of the two main fictional characters, Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose Bukater (played as a young woman by Kate Winslet and as an old woman by Gloria Stuart). In the 1998 Academy Awards “Titanic” won 11 Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Original Song (for “My Heart Will Go On” sung by Celine Dion). Both Gloria Stuart and Kate Winslet were nominated for Oscars, but neither won. The designation “RMS” stands for “Royal Mail Steamship” (also called Steamer or Ship).

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?”
“So I can kiss you anytime I want.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….
The cost of making only the maker knows,
Valueless if bought, but sometimes traded.
A poor man may give one as easily as a king.
When one is broken pain and deceit are assured.

What am I?

Answer: A Promise.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Have you ever been stuck in traffic, staring at the vehicle ahead of you?
Did you notice the make and model? Now you can use that to your advantage.

Each clue below takes the model name of a vehicle and modifies it to form a normal English word.
Any letters in quotes must be added to the model name (either before, after, or inside).
See how many you can figure out.

Example: Don’t be greedy! Inserting “PERABU” into this Plymouth model is just too much.
Answer: SU-PERABU-NDANCE, a modified Plymouth SUNDANCE. A “superabundance” is an excessive amount.

You may get a hole in one of these Volkswagen models, but you will be beaten backwards.
Insert “AT” into this Ford model to establish the validity of your will.
You must insert an “ITIM” in this Subaru model to be in compliance with the law.
This Mitsubishi model is a summary, but it needs an “E” to be strictly correct.
Following this Toyota model with “RY” will lead you to a conclusion.
Adding “BLE” to this Oldsmobile model is something we can definitely do.
Inserting a “C” into this Honda model will make it impossible to occur.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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