WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 7, 2022
Here’s The Story….
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he complained, “I forgot my teeth, what am I going to do now!?”
The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said. The speaker tried them on. “Too loose,” he said.
The man then said, “I have another pair — try these.”
The speaker tried them on and responded, “Too tight.”
The man was not taken back at all. He said, “I have one more pair. Try them.”
The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.”
With that, he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went to thank the man who had helped him. “I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”
The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m an undertaker.” 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Researchers at the University of Vermont determined that the world’s happiest language is Spanish.
German finished fourth, which I find hard to believe. In German, even ‘I love you’ sounds like a threat.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Anheuser-Busch has announced it will begin selling a new organic beer called ‘Michelob Ultra Pure Gold.’ As in, ‘Sorry, all we have left is Michelob Ultra Pure Gold.'” -Seth Meyers
“A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave their baby.
They actually have a name for those parents: ‘celebrities.'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and
customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.
The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon,
“We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat.”
Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, “Yeah right.
So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?” 😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“This is crazy. How am I gonna…”
“Well, you’d be crazy too if you were operating on 20 cups of coffee.”
Answer: All the President’s Men!
In this scene Washington Post newspaper reporter Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman) is giving his notes from an interview to his partner Bob Woodward (Robert Redford), who is sitting at a typewriter. Many of Bernstein’s notes are written on napkins that he has stuffed in various pockets. As he pulls them out he says, “I’m a walking litter basket!” and an exasperated Woodward says line one. Bernstein replies with line two. He has just interviewed the bookkeeper (Jane Alexander) for Treasurer Maurice Stans of CREEP (the Committee to Reelect the President) and she was very reluctant to talk. Bernstein had jotted down notes as her sister got cup after cup of coffee. This movie tells the true story of the Watergate political scandal and the dogged investigative reporting of reporters Woodward and Bernstein that uncovered it (they are referred to together as a team as “Woodstein” by Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee, played by Jason Robards).
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I guess now you wish you would’ve fed the rest of me to the dogs.”
“No, Mason, I much prefer you the way you are.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Fill in the blanks below with three 4-letter words that are anagrams of each other (they all contain the same four letters):
“The man _ of money because he couldn’t walk away from the ___ machines.”
Answer: The letters L-O-S-T
Blank 1: LOST
Blank 2: LOTS
Blank 3: SLOT
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are incomplete words. Place three letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.
i (_ _ ) lar
lat ( _ ) ror
phan ( _ ) ato
indica ( _ ) toise
sc ( _ ) na
thr ( _ _) egal
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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