WELCOME to FRIDAY MARCH 4, 2022
A Strange Story of the Dead Church
A new pastor in Topeka, Kansas, USA, spent the first four days making personal visits to
each of his prospective congregation inviting them to come to his inaugural services.
The following Sunday the church was all but empty. Accordingly, the pastor placed a notice
in the local newspapers, stating that, because the church was dead, it was everyone’s
duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon.
Morbidly curious, a large crowd turned out for the ‘funeral’.
In front of the pulpit, they saw a closed coffin which was covered in flowers. After the
priest had delivered the eulogy; he opened the coffin and invited his congregation to come
forward and pay their final respects to their dead church.
Filled with curiosity as to what would represent the corpse of a ‘dead church’
, all the people eagerly lined up to look in the coffin. Each ‘mourner’
peeped into the coffin then quickly turned away with a guilty, sheepish look.
In the coffin, tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror. 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The University of Texas has decided to allow students to carry guns in the classroom.
The school says it’s a guaranteed way to prevent the possibility of a pop quiz.” -Seth Meyers
“The CEO of SeaWorld has stepped down. He’s going to be getting a $10 million retirement
package – if he can jump up and catch it with his mouth.” -Conan O’Brien
“Whole Foods is looking into the idea of putting tattoo parlors in their grocery stores. Even so,
the people walking out of Whole Foods with the biggest sense of regret will still be
whoever just paid $8 for an apple.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery, but after only a
few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be on its last legs.
My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand an explanation.
“I know exactly what’s wrong with your magnolia,” said the manager.
“Good,” said my wife. “What’s it suffering from?”
“Autumn,” he replied. 😳
Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Mister, I love the way you wear that hat.”
“You don’t know nothin’.”
In this scene Georgia businessman Bobby Trippe (Ned Beatty) comments on a backcountry man’s hat with line one and the old man, less than impressed with Bobby, replies with line two. Outdoor enthusiast Lewis Medlock (Burt Reynolds) has organized a weekend canoeing trip down a soon-to-be-submerged river in the Georgia backcountry with three urban businessmen (played by Jon Voight, Ned Beatty, and Ronny Cox) but they enter a nightmare. This scene is at the beginning of their canoe trip, when they are trying to arrange for some locals to drive their cars downriver. When two backcountry mountain men sexually assault Bobby, Lewis kills one of them with a bow and arrow and they hide the body. Later, Ed Gentry (Jon Voight) kills the second one after a hair-raising cliff climb and he and Bobby sink his body in the rising lake water. The local sheriff (played by James Dickey, who wrote both the novel this movie is based on and the screenplay) suspects, but can’t prove, that something has happened, and he warns them with the line, “Don’t ever do nothin’ like this again. Don’t come back up here.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“This is crazy. How am I gonna…”
“Well, you’d be crazy too if you were operating on 20 cups of coffee.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
In this teaser, I will give you a list of clues and the answer, with all the letters, but the word year, missing.
Your job is to figure out what to add to the word year to get the answer to the clue.
Example: Reading Glasses = Y*EAR
- Word for word, without reading = *Y *EAR*
- New York Birthplace of F.D.R. = YE AR
- Caveat Emptor = *YE **AR
- Person engaged in reverie = YEA**R
- Student at Harvard or Yale, e.g. = Y EAR
- Seafood restaurant = YE *AR
- Old sage who doesn’t shave = **YEAR*
- Extra-powerful, souped up = YEAR
- Absolutely transparent = Y** **EAR
- Place to drop off clothes = **Y *EA*R
- Jellystone resident = Y*** *EAR
- Headache remedy since 1899 = YE* AR*
Answer: 1. BY HEART
- HYDE PARK
- BUYER BEWARE
- IVY LEAGUER
- OYSTER BAR
- GREYBEARD or GRAYBEARD
- CRYSTAL CLEAR
- DRY CLEANER
- YOGI BEAR
- BAYER ASPIRIN
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Fill in the blanks below with three 4-letter words that are anagrams of each other (they all contain the same four letters):
“The man _ of money because he couldn’t walk away from the ___ machines.”
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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