Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Strange But True Stories from People Filling in Their Insurance Claims.
The following quotes show what people write on their car insurance claim forms. Apparently, these are strange but true stories collected by assessors.

  1. To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.
  2. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
  3. I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.
  4. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.
  5. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.
  6. Cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.
  7. Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped back and one stepped forward, I had to have an accident. There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.
  8. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car.
    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people,
    stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“According to a study, being a new mother is the equivalent of working two
and a half full-time jobs. And, even worse, the boss is constantly
grabbing for your breasts.” -Conan O’Brien

“I read about a man in Ohio who just ended his streak of eating Chipotle for
500 straight days. When asked why he decided to stop,
his family said, ‘Oh, he died.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“For the first time ever, scientists have created artificial life. The hope is that
it can revolutionize healthcare, generate clean energy, become super-intelligent,
take over the world, make us all its slaves, etc.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and
says, “I’ve had enough of this!” and she goes downstairs. She finally comes back up
to bed and her husband asks, “The dog is STILL barking, what were you doing out there?”
The blonde says, “I put the dog in our backyard. Let’s see how THEY like it!” 😳

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“She’s a pistol, Cal! Hope you can handle her.”
“Well, I may have to start minding what she reads from now on, won’t I, Mrs. Brown?”

Answer: Titanic!
In this scene, six first-class passengers on the passenger liner RMS Titanic are at a lunch table when the discussion turns to how the ship was named. When White Star Lines chairman J. Bruce Ismay (Jonathan Hyde) says he chose the name Titanic to convey the image of size and power, Rose Bukater (Kate Winslet) says, “Do you know of Dr. Freud, Mr. Ismay? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you.” Molly Brown (Kathy Bates) and Thomas Andrews (Victor Garber) try to stifle a smile at that comment and her mother (Frances Fisher) looks aghast. When Rose excuses herself from the table, Molly says line one to Rose’s fiancΓ©, Caledon ‘Cal’ Hockley (Billy Zane), and he replies with line two. The movie “Titanic” tells the true-life story of the luxurious White Star ocean liner RMS Titanic that sank in 1912 on its maiden voyage, told through the lives of two main fictional characters, Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose Bukater (played as a young woman by Kate Winslet and as an old woman by Gloria Stuart).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You need someone to buy the ticket and claim the winnings, but it has to be someone you absolutely trust.”
“One beard, check.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Turn the word “THINK” into “BRAIN” by changing one letter at a time – each new word must be a real word.


Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

  1. I am always excited
  2. I tell people where things are at
  3. You can play a game on me
  4. I’m very rich
  5. I give percentages
  6. I am always looking up
  7. And………
  8. I look like a light in the sky
  9. I keep things arranged that are to my right
  10. I keep things arranged that are to my left
    What Are We?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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