Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 28, 2022

Here’s The Story…
A man comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever,
so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage on the neighbor’s back porch, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?” The guy stumbles around and says, “No.. umm.. no.. I didn’t. What happened?” The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after the kids buried him in the backyard we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A 102-year-old woman broke a pair of world track and field records.
The 102-year-old ran the 100-meter dash with a time of ‘February.'” -Conan O’Brien

“There’s a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later.
If you’re too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise
them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little monsters want from us?” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Engineers have crafted a futuristic jetpack that lets you fly up to 10,000 feet in
the air. It even has a cool name: It’s called ‘YOU Try It First.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident,
my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The nurse asked for my height
and weight and I blurted out, “Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds.”
While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me.
“Sweetheart,” she gently chided, “this is not the Internet.” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Seven dwarfs?”
“The seven CEOs of Big Tobacco. They got up in front of Congress that time. It was on television…”

Answer: The Insider!
In this scene, TV show “60 Minutes” producer Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino) is talking to Brown & Williamson research chemist, Dr. Jeffrey Wigand (Russell Crowe), while sitting in a car. Bergman is using Wigand’s expertise anonymously in explaining some scientific documents for a future “60 Minutes” story, but Wigand is suspicious Bergman has identified him (he hasn’t). When the conversation turns to responsibility in business, Wigand says he admires the CEO of Johnson & Johnson, who voluntarily pulled Tylenol off the shelves of every store in America when he found out that somebody had put poison in a few Tylenol bottles. He then sarcastically adds, “Not like the Seven Dwarfs.” When Bergman appears puzzled and asks the question in line one, Wigand starts to reply with line two. Bergman suddenly understands and completes Dr. Wigand’s sentence with, “Oh, yeh, yeh, yeh, …and swore under oath that they know nothing about addiction, disease…” This movie tells the true story of whistleblower Dr. Jeffrey Wigand, who agreed to appear on “60 Minutes” and expose Big Tobacco’s cynical and deliberate attitude on the addictive drug nicotine in cigarettes, and the resulting power play between Big Tobacco and CBS News (producer of “60 Minutes”). This is also a gut-wrenching story of how the lives of Wigand and his family are affected. As Bergman says later in the movie, “These are ordinary people under extraordinary pressure, Mike.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“She’s a pistol, Cal! Hope you can handle her.”
“Well, I may have to start minding what she reads from now on, won’t I, Mrs. Brown?”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What saying is seen here?

Mary
Sue
Jane

LAW

Bob
Fred
Jim

ANSWER: No man is above the law.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Turn the word “THINK” into “BRAIN” by changing one letter at a time – each new word must be a real word.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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