Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Southern Grandparents’ Sayings That Deserve a Comeback

“Close the door! You’re letting out all the store-bought air!”
Translation: Keep the door closed when the air conditioner’s running.

“You just better get glad in the same clothes (or britches) you got mad in.”
Translation: Change your attitude and change it soon.

“You better get off that high horse you’re riding, girl!”
Translation: Just remember who paid for your braces/ballet lessons/college education/wedding.

“Do that again and you’ll get a ring upside the head!”
Translation: Memaw is referring to her wedding ring. We always knew she was bluffing.

“You children behave, or I’ll whistle for the big yella dog!”
Translation: The reader who shared this one said she was grown
before she realized her grandmother didn’t own a dog.

“Put that in your pipe and smoke it!”
Translation: That’s the truth; deal with it! This phrase isn’t exclusively Southern, we realize,
but it loses something when you hear it in any other accent.

“Check the Farmers’ Almanac and make sure the fish are in the feet.”
Translation: The “Man of Signs,” an Almanac staple, relates Zodiac signs to body parts, showing
their correlation during certain times of year and suggesting optimum times for planting, etc.

“It’s coming up a cloud.”
Translation: A storm is approaching.

“I believe it’s finally fairing off.”
Translation: The storm is over and the sky is clearing.

“Once a man, twice a child.”
Translation: Pepaw’s getting more and more childlike now that he’s 90.

“I’m going to bed. Y’all stay as long as you like.”
Translation: Go home already.

“Reckon I’ll mosey on down the road.”
Translation: I’m leaving.

“I’ll be there directly.”
Translation: I’ll be there right away.

“I’m fair to middlin’.”
Translation: “Fair to middling” refers to cotton grades, this one being average.

“Into every life a little rain must fall.”
Translation: It can’t be sweet tea and magnolias ALL the time.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A man who was bitten by a shark, a bear, and a rattlesnake in less than
four years and survived. The man thanked God he’s still alive, while
God said, ‘What do I have to do to nail this guy?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new report, Amazon is working on a robot that follows its
owner around the house. It’s basically an Alexa on wheels. This is going to
be a hot item. Here’s how you get one: You leave your Alexa and your
Roomba alone in a bedroom and let nature take its course.” -James Corden

“Old Navy has announced plans to open 60 more stores this year. This is great
news for guys who say, ‘I love khakis, but I just wish they fell apart faster.'” -Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were
relaxing in the library. “You know,” said Melba, “today, in most marriage
ceremonies, they don’t use the word ‘obey’ anymore.”
“Too bad, isn’t it?” retorted Ken. “It used to lend a little humor to the occasion.” 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You have no right to keep us here.” “Oh, yes I do. Your son’s a material witness to a homicide.”
“You don’t understand. We want nothing to do with your laws.”

Answer: Witness!
“Witness” (1985) stars Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis and Lukas Haas. A cop called John Book (Harrison Ford) must try and find a killer and the only witness is a young Amish boy. At first the boy’s mother does not trust the policeman, as is seen in the quote above. John Book then integrates himself into the Amish community with the young boy and his mother, he then starts to develop feelings for her.
“Witness” (1985) won two Oscars and was nominated for six.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
A wizard left each of his three sons a gift before he died. The eldest received a mirror, through which he could see anyone in the world. The second, a horse which could ride to any place in the world in one day. The third, a magic apple which would never rot, and when eaten would cure any disease.
One day the brothers heard about a princess in a faraway land who was dying of an unknown disease. Rumour had it the king would let the man who saved his daughter marry her. The brothers sprung into action. The first looked in his mirror and saw the ill princess and the land she lived in. All three jumped on the second brother’s horse, and they rode so fast they got to the princess’ land the next morning. Then the third son took his apple to the princess, who ate it and recovered full health instantly.

The king was grateful, and indeed intended to let one of them marry the princess. But it had taken the co-operation of all three brothers to save her. Which one did the king decide should marry his daughter?

ANSWER: The king decided that the youngest of the brothers was most worthy of marrying his daughter, because he made the greatest sacrifice in saving the princess: he had lost his magical gift, while the other two still had the mirror and the horse.

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Two legs sat on three legs by four legs. One leg knocked two legs off three legs. Two legs hit four legs with three legs.
What happened?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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