WELCOME to TUESDAY MAY 24, 2022
Morning Punagraphy…..
Q. Why did the tomato blush? / A. Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? / A. It had great food, but no atmosphere.
Q. What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? / A. Nacho cheese!
Q. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? / A. There was nothing left but de Brie.
Q. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? / A. A carrot.
Q. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter? / A. Patty!
Q. Where do beef burgers go dancing? / A. The meatball.
Q. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? / A. Because he always has a great fall.
Q. Why did bread break up with margarine? / A. Because he found a butter lover.
Q. Did you hear about the waffle iron with anger issues? / A. He just flipped.
Q. Why should you never tell a taco a secret? / A. Because they tend to spill the beans.
Q. Why do they serve yogurt at museums? / A. Because it’s cultured.
Q. What do you call a group of berries playing instruments? / A. A jam session.
Q. Why do comedians love eggs? / A. They’re easy to crack up.
Q. How do you fix a broken gourd? / A. With a pumpkin patch.
Q. Why are jalapeños such good marksmen? / A. Because they haben-arrow.
Q.Why can you never gossip in a cornfield? / A. Too many ears.
That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“One of the world’s top Donkey Kong players has been stripped of his records
for cheating. He was going to be sentenced to life, but turns
out he doesn’t have one.” -Conan O’Brien
“A 70-year-old woman in India recently gave birth to a baby boy. The baby and
his mother are doing fine. The doctor, however, is still recovering.” -Seth Meyers
“Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So
congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and
you got five new emojis.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. The people who produce the bottles.
The truck drivers who deliver the beer and the retailers who sell it.
If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” 😳
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Backward! I always go backward when I’m backin’ away.”
Answer: “True Grit”!
The ‘Duke’ received his only Best Actor Oscar for his role as Marshall Reuben J. ‘Rooster’ Cogburn in “True Grit”. He was also nominated for playing Sgt. John M. Stryker in 1949’s “Sands of Iwo Jima”, but as a sentimental fan, I always thought an additional win for his role as John Bernard Books in his last film, “The Shootist” (1976), would have been a perfect tribute. “True Grit” also featured one of the greatest scenes in cinema history (in my opinion), with Cogburn, reins in his teeth, shooting and twirling a rifle with one hand and firing a pistol in the other while charging ‘Lucky’ Ned Pepper (Robert Duvall) and his gang in the meadow. Directed by Henry Hathaway, the film also starred Glen Campbell (in a not-so-terrible performance), Kim Darby, Strother Martin and Dennis Hopper.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“He ain’t pretty no more!”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
I have been called a savage, a chief and oft times a leader.
Some have called me the embodiment of courage, although to a Crook I did surrender.
Where I was born, there were no enclosures.
In the end, to bring me down, it took 5000 soldiers.
As the “terror of the country”, I had a reputation of cruelty and cunning.
My tactics consisted of hitting and then running.
Many movies and stories of me were made.
The memories of me, the most famous of my people, will never fade.
People have spoken ill of me so many times it would give your throat a lump.
Yet sometimes, my name is the last word said when people make a big jump.
Now it’s time to give it a try.
Do you know my name; who am I?
Answer: My name, in case you still don’t know.
Is simply one word, Geronimo. Geronimo was quoted to have said, “Where I was born, there were no enclosures”.
Autobiographers have stated it took more than 5000 soldiers and 500 scouts to capture Geronimo
the last time and often referred to him as “the terror of the country”.
In 1883, Geronimo surrendered to General George Crook.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Each clue below is for two words that differ by only one letter: The letter has been either added to the beginning or the end of the word – all the rest are in the same order. In the “hint” you will see the lengths of the words, in the proper order.
For example “Writing on the wall of Noah’s boat (3,4)” would result in “Ark Mark”. Can you get the rest?
- Complaint about a golf club part.
- Insect being angry and vocal.
- Angry buccaneer.
- The second of the two dishes you mentioned.
- Scrawny unidentified object.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 