WELCOME to TUESDAY MAY 31, 2022
Here’s The Story….
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb.
About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and
spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of
soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb. About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing. Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, “Don’t you think it’s time we told him he was adopted?” That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Froot Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. People who tried the
new flavor say it tastes like ‘wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries.'” -Conan O’Brien
“Disney World announced they are finally serving alcohol at every restaurant in
the Magic Kingdom. It’s only been a week but I guess Disney is already thinking
about changing their slogan. It used to be ‘The Happiest Place on Earth.’ Now they
are considering new slogans, like ‘Disney World: Where You Wish Upon a Bar.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“This week a California man recorded his wife giving birth, and accidentally live streamed
it to the world on Facebook. I’ve heard of people on Facebook oversharing, but ovary sharing? ” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of her husband.
“But why did you stab him over a hundred times?” asked the judge.
“Oh, your Honor,” replied the defendant, “It wasn’t my fault. didn’t
know how to switch off the electric carving knife!”😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Tell me, Inspector, ‘Signor Phantom’, all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?”
Answer: “The Pink Panther”
I truly like Steve Martin and (most) of his films, and while he did a pretty good job as the bumbling Inspector in the “Panther” remakes, when I think of Clouseau, I can think only of Peter Sellers. There are a total of eleven films in the “Panther” franchise; Sellers was actually filmed in five of the films but technically starred in six (his appearance in 1982’s “Trail of the Pink Panther”, released over two years after his death, featured unused footage from 1976’s “The Pink Panther Strikes Again”). Directed by Blake Edwards, “The Pink Panther” also starred David Niven, Robert Wagner and Claudia Cardinale. The film’s only Oscar nomination was for Henry Mancini’s famous and instantly recognizable musical score (which also was nominated for a Grammy). Interestingly, the second film in the franchise, 1964’s “A Shot in the Dark” (released only three months after “Pink Panther”) was not originally intended to include Sellers or Clouseau, but many film critics consider it to be the best film of the series.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“It would appear someone objected to this union and wasn’t able to hold their peace.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Grammar Manor once again provided the perfect backdrop for the annual Punctuation Ball, hosted by Lord Charles of Colon and his dainty wife Sandra of Semicolon. Herbert Hash conducted the large brass band who were playing a slow song as the assembled punctuation marks danced serif in serif.
The evening, as it did in the years before, again was filled with a sense of glorious opulence and elegance which the punctuation marks would remember fondly. However, at the stroke of midnight this atmosphere was shattered as the many lights in the ballroom went out. Everything was submerged into darkness in an instant.
There was much commotion as the guests tried to work out what had happened. After a few moments, Quentin Question Mark found the switch and restored light to the room – and found Lord Charles in the middle of the dance floor, lying in a pool of blood. The distraught party guests called in the police to investigate, and the force sent their best man: Sergeant Arthur A. Ampersand.
Sergeant Ampersand surveyed the scene and spoke to the guests before drawing up a list of his top five murder suspects:
- Alan the Asterisk
- Carlos Comma
- Edward Ellipsis
- Percy Parentheses
- Trevor Tilde
“I have followed all necessary leads to find out who murdered Lord Charles,” said Sergeant Ampersand, “and I conclude that it’s a mystery!” Before the guests could comment, Sergeant Ampersand checked his notes and arrested the culprit.
Who murdered Lord Charles?
Answer: Edward Ellipsis killed Lord Charles.
Sergeant Ampersand didn’t say “it’s a mystery”, but rather, “it’s a Mr. E”. The only person in the list of suspects whose name begins with E is Edward Ellipsis.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
In this teaser you have two tasks. First, you need to fill in the correct blank letter of each word. Second, when you have done this, each letter then needs to be transferred to the numbered blanks in order to discover the keyword.
- _ AINT
- TIME _
- B _ AST
- MI _ ER
- ST _ LL
- BRI _ E
- PLAN _
- _ IFTY
- RE _ AP
- DIAR _
- _ 2. _ 3. _ 4. _ 5. _ 6. _ 7. _ 8._ 9. _ 10. _
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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