Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Southerners are known for our colorful speech—so much so that visitors from Up North
might require a translator. And when it comes to uber-Southern utterances, nobody can
hold a candle to our grandmothers. In fact, even we don’t always understand some of
the phrases grandmas say. But we pretend to. Because we don’t want to be cut out of
her will—or worse, banished from her Thanksgiving table.
Herewith, some particularly colorful grandmother quotes:

“I’m cold. Put your sweater on.”

“Were you raised in a barn?”

“My grandmother would always say, ‘We’re here because we’re here!’ whenever we
arrived at a destination. Never did understand why . . .”

“After my grandmother broke her hip, she would tell visitors, ‘You know I don’t have a spine anymore.'”

“I wasn’t asleep. I was just resting my eyes.”

“I’m not hungry, but my stomach’s weak.”

“After spending three days preparing a feast for 30 or more family members, my grandmother
would cast a critical eye over a perfect Southern meal and say: ‘Let’s eat and get it over with.'”

“Every time my grandmother finished putting food on the table and was ready for you to fix your
plate, she would say, ‘Well, there it is if you can eat it.'”

“When my grandmother was feeling sorry for herself, she’d say, ‘I’ll just go out in the garden and eat worms.'”

“To a pouting me, my grandmother would say, ‘Stick that bottom lip out any further and I’ll sit on it.'”

“When a grandchild had a minor scrape, my grandmother would say, ‘It’s OK—they’re hard to kill.'”

“My stomach’s pinchy (pronounced ‘pAYnchy’).”

“If I raise my hands over my head, it will make the veins on them go down.”

“My dad loved tossing us into the air when we were babies/toddlers, and my great-grandmother
would say, ‘Don’t do that—you’ll turn their liver over!'”

“You go ahead and have that last tomato.” (Translation: “Touch it and you’re out of the will.”)

“My grandmother would say, ‘You’re gonna break your neck!’ regardless of the extreme activity involved.”

“I’ve never seen the like!”

“You’ll catch your death o’ cold.”

“Hand me the clicker box. My stories (pronounced “STOH-rees”) are on the other channel.”

“I’ve got a hitch in my get-along.”

“Don’t let the screen door hit you in the backside on your way out.”

“This is boring as watching a rock grow.”

“If you’re so ready to leave, strike a trot.”

“Always make sure to wear clean underwear with no holes in it when you travel. You might
be in a car accident and someone would see.”

“That’s the straw that broke the camel’s back, Miss Priss.” (Translation: You’ve pushed Memaw
too far AND she thinks you’re full of yourself.)

“It’s getting cool in here. Raise that window down.”

“I can’t come to your ballgame. I’ve got a bone in my leg.”

“Once a man, twice a child.”

“I’m doing very well.” (But “very well” was said in a way that made it clear she meant “so-so.”)

“Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.”

“I look like who shot Lizzie.”

“She looks like death eating a cracker.”

That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A baby who was born in Paris on a public train today received free rides from
the transportation company until his 25th birthday. While a baby born on the
New York City subway received hepatitis.” -Seth Meyers

“Banks are starting to offer services through virtual assistants like Amazon Echo,
which backfires when you ask Alexa for your account balance
and she just starts laughing.” -Jimmy Fallon

If adulthood has taught me anything, it’s that you really
don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up.
At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged
portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll pack some more trays and have them ready for you
by the time you finish shopping.”
Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher’s voice boom over the public-address system:
“Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store.” 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so I called down and had a Shiatsu massage in my room. And the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain.”

Answer: Lost in Translation!
The scene that this quote is from takes place as Harris (Murray) is speaking on the phone to Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) after she asks what he is doing that day.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You could drop this guy off at the Arctic Circle wearing a pair of bikini underwear, without his toothbrush, and tomorrow afternoon he’s going to show up at your pool side with a million dollar smile and fist full of pesos.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
In this teaser your job is to try and discover a shorter word within the given word that relates to the theme.
The word must be an extension of the ‘theme’ word. The letters of the hidden word are NOT jumbled.


Theme: NIGHT______

Sneaky = SKY (NIGHT SKY)

Theme: DAY _

  1. Jacob = ? (DAY _)
  2. Clapboard = ? (DAY _)
  3. Champagne = ? (DAY _)
  4. Orange = ? (DAY _)

Answer: 1. Jacob = JOB (DAY JOB)

  1. Clapboard = LABOR (DAY LABOR)
  2. Champagne = CAMP (DAY CAMP)
  3. Orange = ONE (DAY ONE)

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
I am a world-renowned “symbol”. In the English language, if I’m added to a noun, it turns to an adjective (in most cases).

If you put horizontal lines through me, I become a currency, but it is not used in many countries.

In Spanish, I am a “symbol”, but also I am a word. I am used to connect words and phrases. If you watch your School House Rock, I go along with a junction.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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