Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY JUNE 24, 2022

15 Rude Sayings Your Southern Mama Hates
Utter one of these, and you’ll suffer the wrath of She Who Must Be Obeyed.
Nothing says your Southern Mama failed in raising you like a bunch of tacky sayings
coming out of your mouth, especially in front of the preacher’s wife. It makes the whole
family look bad. Herewith, the deadly expressions guaranteed to get you on Mama’s bad
side in a hurry. (Actually, we’re already in trouble because we used the “h” word in our headline):

1.”Cuss words unless they’re turned into Southernisms, like ‘hell’s bells,’ thereby neutralizing the profanity.”

2.”Any crass or even overt mention of bodily functions, particularly those involved with reproduction—human, animal, or botanical. Mama had a sweet neighbor who made my cousin and me turn our backs to her lilies while she cross-pollinated them.”

3.”‘Uh-huh’ or ‘unh-unh.’ Those two are like fingernails to a chalkboard.”

4.”Saying ‘what?’ instead of ‘ma’am?'”

5.”‘Yes’ or ‘no’ without the obligatory ‘ma’am’ following.”

6.”Saying that something ‘sucks.’ #sorrymama”

7.”‘Hate.” We weren’t allowed to say that word.”

8.”We couldn’t say ‘hate.’ We had to say ‘strongly dislike’ and qualify it. This is making
me realize how much I DO sound like my mother and grandmother!”

9.”‘Ain’t and cain’t.” The former is poor grammar; the latter is both poor grammar and an excuse for laziness.”

10.”‘I can’t!’ The response was always, ‘Can’t never could do anything.'”

11.”Git.”

12.”Maybe because I was raised in the 80s, I wasn’t allowed to say ‘like.’ As in, ‘Like, I was
going over there, and like, it was really far, and like I got tired, and like . . .”

13.”I made the mistake of saying ‘crap’ in front of Mother once. It never happened again.”

14.”‘Shut up.’ My mother can’t stand that. Also, she insists that her kids and grandkids tell her EVERYTHING
even though they are now adults. And we’re expected to call every day.”

15.”‘Stupid.’ We never, ever use the word ‘stupid.'”

That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment
is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and
to live each is to succeed. Corita Kent

Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by
dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of
other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage
to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Steve Jobs

You have not lived today until you have done something for
someone who can never repay you. John Bunyan

To hide feelings when you are near crying
is the secret of dignity. Dejan Stojanovic

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The company my brother worked for had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls.
If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a
wrong number. It got to the point where as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up
and say, “Psychic Hotline. I’m sorry, but you’ve dialed the wrong number.”
The caller would often reply with something like, “But I didn’t even ask to speak to anyone
yet. How did you know I dialed the wrong…. Oh!” (Click.) 😳

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You could drop this guy off at the Arctic Circle wearing a pair of bikini underwear, without his toothbrush, and tomorrow afternoon he’s going to show up at your pool side with a million dollar smile and fist full of pesos.”

Answer: On Deadly Ground!
This quote takes place during the scene on the helicopter where Stone (Ermey) warns the other mercenaries of Forrest Taft’s (Steven Seagal) extensive military skills.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Is old Leland here gonna fight off a man… who goes by the last name “Reaper”, first name “Grim”? Or will this base-jumping, crocodile-wrestling, shark-diving, volcano-luging, bear-fighting, snake-wrangling, motocross-racing warrior die?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
I am a world-renowned “symbol”. In the English language, if I’m added to a noun, it turns to an adjective (in most cases). If you put horizontal lines through me, I become a currency, but it is not used in many countries. In Spanish, I am a “symbol”, but also I am a word. I am used to connect words and phrases. If you watch your School House Rock, I go along with a junction.

What am I?

Answer: I am Y.
When Y is added to a noun, it often makes it an adjective; i.e. Hair+y=hairy, Smell+y=Smelly, etc.
When you put two horizontal lines through a Y, it makes the Yen symbol, found in Japan.
In the Spanish language, Y is the translation for “and”, which is a conjunction. If you watch School House Rock, they do a whole skit on Conjunction Junction.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
The answers to the following riddles share a common theme:

  1. What do you call a cow that is laying down?
  2. What do you call a pig that loses a tug-of-war?
  3. What do you call a sheep’s appendage?
  4. What do you call a pig with an axe?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in JUNE 30TH NEXT THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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