Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURDAY JUNE 30, 2022

Here’s The Story….
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.” The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.

Here are some of the replies:

  1. Who the heck is this?
  2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
  3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s up with you?
  4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
  5. I don’t understand what you mean?
  6. What the hell did you do now?
  7. You’re kidding, right?
  8. Don’t beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?
  9. Am I dreaming?
  10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
  11. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day. (my favorite)
  12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?
    That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people,
    stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A Minor League Baseball team in Pennsylvania is selling a hot dog wrapped in cotton candy topped
with Nerds candies. And instead of condiments, every one of those comes with a cry for help.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Authorities are warning people to avoid swimming in some New Jersey rivers because of increased numbers of so-called clinging jellyfish. Though if you’re swimming in New Jersey rivers,
you’re probably not big on warnings.” -Seth Meyers

“The temperature hit 112 in Beverly Hills yesterday. That’s dangerous. Experts say the best thing you can do in heat like this is take a screen shot of the weather app and post it to Facebook.
That way if you die, you go out with some likes.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A guy from Brooklyn was in Hong Kong. While passing through a Jewish neighborhood he was surprised to see a synagogue. He went in and sure enough, he saw a Chinese rabbi and a Chinese congregation. The service was touching.
As the service ended, the rabbi stood at the door greeting his congregants. When our Brooklyn friend
came up, the Chinese rabbi said….”You’re a Jew?”
“Yes, I’m Jewish,” replied the Brooklynite.
“Funny,” said the Chinese rabbi. “You don’t look it.” 😳

Last Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Is old Leland here gonna fight off a man… who goes by the last name “Reaper”, first name “Grim”? Or will this base-jumping, crocodile-wrestling, shark-diving, volcano-luging, bear-fighting, snake-wrangling, motocross-racing warrior die?”

Answer: Along Came Polly!
This quote comes from the scene where Sandy (Hoffman) substitutes for Rueben(Ben Stiller) at a meeting to recommend insurance coverage for Leland Van Lew (Bryan Brown).

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My father was a drunk, a gambler and a womanizer. I worshipped him.”

Last Friday’s Quizzler is….​
The answers to the following riddles share a common theme:

  1. What do you call a cow that is laying down?
  2. What do you call a pig that loses a tug-of-war?
  3. What do you call a sheep’s appendage?
  4. What do you call a pig with an axe?

Answer: The answers are all types of meat.

  1. Ground beef
  2. Pulled pork
  3. Leg of lamb
  4. Pork chop

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
John, Paul, George, and Ringo all enter a race, but there is nobody at the finish line to judge the ending.
When the judge finally shows up to award the prize for coming in first, these are the statements the four of them make:

John: I was neither first nor last.
Paul: I did not finish last.
George: I won the race!
Ringo: I came in last.

The judge starts to hand George the prize, when Yoko, who was watching the race, says, “Exactly one of these four is lying.”

To whom should the judge grant the prize?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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