WELCOME to FRIDAY JULY 1, 2022
Here’s The Story….
“This guy gets a horse, and when he says, ‘Thanks be to God,’ it makes the horse move, and when
he says ‘Amen,’ it makes the horse stop. One day, the guy gets on the horse and he says ‘Thanks be
to God,’ and the horse starts bolting. He’s trying to get the horse to stop and the horse won’t stop,
and he’s getting close to a cliff. He shouts ‘AMEN!’ and the horse stops. He’s really relieved, and he
sighs ‘Thanks be to God,’ and the horse runs off the cliff.” That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“New York’s State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize alcoholic ice cream. ‘That’s
great news,’ said a five-year-old having a rough day. ‘Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.'” -Seth Meyers
“Starbucks just announced that they’re closing 150 stores due to low sales. Meanwhile, the Starbucks
inside Barnes & Noble was like, ‘Shhh – I think they forgot about us.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade’s worth of U.S. military data. However, this morning, the Chinese government called and said no problem, we backed it up.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.”
“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.
“I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground” he answered. “But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked. The man quickly answered. “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.” 😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“My father was a drunk, a gambler and a womanizer. I worshipped him.”
Answer: The General’s Daughter!
This quote takes place in the scene where Warrant Officer Paul Brenner (Travolta) is asked
what type of relationship that he had with his father?
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Aristophanes once wrote, roughly translated; “Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
John, Paul, George, and Ringo all enter a race, but there is nobody at the finish line to judge the ending. When the judge finally shows up to award the prize for coming in first, these are the statements the four of them make:
John: I was neither first nor last.
Paul: I did not finish last.
George: I won the race!
Ringo: I came in last.
The judge starts to hand George the prize, when Yoko, who was watching the race, says, “Exactly one of these four is lying.”
To whom should the judge grant the prize?
Answer: The prize should go to Paul.
If John is lying, then George and Ringo would be telling the truth, which would mean John was not lying, so he can’t be the liar.
If Paul was lying, then Ringo would also be lying, so he must be telling the truth, as well.
So we now know that neither John nor Paul finished last. If Ringo was lying, then George would have finished last, which would mean that he was lying, as well. So Ringo can’t be lying.
This leaves George as our liar, so we know George did not finish first. Neither did Ringo (he finished last), nor did John (he finished neither first nor last). Therefore, Paul won the race!
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Although much water you see,
by definition, “desert” fits me.
In the winter I double in size,
but staying away is a word for the wise.
I am very windy, that is a clue,
What am I? Good luck to you.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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