Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 7, 2022

Here’s The Story….
A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. “I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B’ for the test.” There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, “Anyone else? This is your last chance.” One final student rose up and opted out of the final. The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. “I’m glad to see you believe in yourselves,” he said. “You all get ‘A’s.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“In Jerusalem, renovation work is beginning on Jesus’s burial tomb. It’s being
listed as ‘occupied by previous owner for only three days!'” -Conan O’Brien

“A man in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is suing the TSA claiming that overly long airport
security lines caused him to miss a flight. Seems like a strange move until you realize
there’s no jury in the world that will side with the TSA.” -James Corden

“Since the UK officially voted to leave the European Union it caused the British pound
to hit a 31-year low. You could tell Brits were struggling. Today Queen Elizabeth was
wearing one of those cardboard crowns from Burger King.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce
fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the
pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more. 😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me!”

Answer: Dumb and Dumber!
The scene for this quote comes when Lloyd (Carrey) asks a little old lady to watch his things for him while he goes to get change for the newspaper machine. After Lloyd goes to get his change, the little old lady takes off with everything that he asked her to watch for him.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven’t even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spent the night confusing a man in a coma?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Every time you try to move ahead
I’m bent on pulling you back instead

Is this struggle for mobility
An exercise in futility?

Either level or somewhat inclined
With progress feedback I am designed

Whether you choose to walk or to run
You always end up where you’ve begun

What am I?

Answer: a treadmill

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Beginning with “de”, add letters from the given pool to create a seven-letter word which
means “to withhold something”. Do not rearrange the letters as you go.

Pool: E R V P I

1) DE
2) _ _ _
3) _ _ _ _
4) _ _ _ _ _
5) _ _ _ _ _ _
6) _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The hint gives definitions/clues for each additional word, except for the last word.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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