WELCOME to FRIDAY JULY 8, 2022
Friday’s One Liners…
- Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs
- “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
- I intend to live forever… or die trying.
- We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A blind man walks into a bar….And a table, and a chair.
- At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
- Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy.
- What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.
- Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it.
- I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.
- I childproofed the house… but they still get in!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever
you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity
itself that determines how your life’s
story will develop.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
“This is no time for ease and comfort.
It is time to dare and endure.” – Winston Churchill
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk,
if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you
have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr
“I can be changed by what happens to me.
But I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the
judgment that something else is more
important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Listen a job is a job, we all need to find away to put bread on the table don’t we? To make a long story short I’m a telemarketer that’s my job and that’s what I do. It’s not a job everyone appreciates, but it’s a job I enjoy and am proud of. The other day I called a house and a real nice lady answered the phone, she was really helpful and friendly, she was the type of lady that helps a telemarketer get through a long day. After some pleasantries I asked Â if Mr. Smith was in, “I’m sorry”, she answered “I’m afraid he doesn’t live here anymore.” Now that was a real disappointment being that she was a nice lady and all, but I took it all in a stride, “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am. Do you happen to have his new number.” “Sure thing!” The woman cheerfully replied, listing off his new number. I hung up the phone and quickly called the new number and was surprised to hear a recording. “Thank you for calling Green Acres Cemetery…”😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven’t even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spent
the night confusing a man in a coma?”
Answer: While You Were Sleeping!
When Lucy saves Peter’s life by pulling his unconscious body away from the path of an incoming train, she is mistaken by all to be his fiancée. His family seem so pleased with this news, that she can’t bring herself to break their hearts. Unable to sleep, she decides to visit him at the hospital, where she passes the time by talking to him while he lies in a coma.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I am in a dress. I have gel in my hair. I haven’t slept all night. I’m starved AND I’m armed. Don’t mess with me!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Beginning with “de”, add letters from the given pool to create a seven-letter word which
means “to withhold something”. Do not rearrange the letters as you go.
Pool: E R V P I
2) _ _ _
3) _ _ _ _
4) _ _ _ _ _
5) _ _ _ _ _ _
6) _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The hint gives definitions/clues for each additional word, except for the last word.
Answer: 1) DE
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
If you’re good at solving puzzles, these will be easy. Every answer is a two-word phrase in
which the first word begins with “BE” and the second with “ST”.
Ex: A fairy tale is a popular one.
BE_ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _
1.)Nickname for Utah.
BE_ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _
2.)One jewel of horse racing’s Triple Crown.
BE_ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _ _
3.)Cause of red bump on the skin.
BE_ ST_ _ _
4.)What separates Alaska from Russia.
BE _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _ _
5.)Star of “Zoolander” and “Meet the Fockers”.
BE_ ST_ _ _ _ _
6.)Once a giant among the United States’ metal manufacturers.
BE_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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One thought on “Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!”
Your posts and today’s was such an uplift