Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 11, 2022

Here’s The Story…..
Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation, the first guy said, “Panty stitcher…I sew the elastic onto women’s panties.” The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. The second guy was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter,” he replied. Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, “Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor.” “What skill?!” yelled the panty stitcher. “I sew the elastic, and he pulls on it and says, “Yep, dese’ll fit ‘er.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie are rolling out a new payment program
which allows online shoppers to pay in installments later rather than in full,
called Afterpay. Not to be confused with the program they have at Taco Bell,
where you always pay for it later.” -Seth Meyers


“A group of shareholders at Facebook might be plotting to get rid of Mark Zuckerberg.
And their plan would be way more likely to work if Mark wasn’t
spying on them using Facebook.” -Jimmy Fallon


“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working
on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side
effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit her for the holidays.
Someone asked how old her sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and then
answered, “She’s half as old as I am, that’s how I always remember.”
So someone else (okay, it was me) said, “That’s neat… So every year that you age, she
only ages half a year?” My co-worker thought about that, and then said,
“Oh, yeah, I guess it only works on even years.”😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I am in a dress. I have gel in my hair. I haven’t slept all night. I’m starved AND I’m armed. Don’t mess with me!”

Answer: Miss Congeniality!
Because of threats that have been received, FBI agent Gracie Hart has to go undercover in the ‘Miss United States’ beauty pageant. The best way to get close enough to the contestants to keep them safe is to become a contestant herself. However, she is less than thrilled at the regime she is forced to go through in order to be selected as a finalist.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Please don’t tell me you called me out of a wedding to pick out a suit?”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
If you’re good at solving puzzles, these will be easy. Every answer is a two-word phrase in
which the first word begins with “BE” and the second with “ST”.

Ex: A fairy tale is a popular one.
BE_ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _
BEDTIME STORY

1.)Nickname for Utah.
BE_ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _

2.)One jewel of horse racing’s Triple Crown.
BE_ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _ _

3.)Cause of red bump on the skin.
BE_ ST_ _ _

4.)What separates Alaska from Russia.
BE _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _ _

5.)Star of “Zoolander” and “Meet the Fockers”.
BE_ ST_ _ _ _ _

6.)Once a giant among the United States’ metal manufacturers.
BE_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ST_ _ _

Answer: 1.)Beehive State
2.)Belmont Stakes
3.)Bee Sting
4.)Bering Strait
5.)Ben Stiller
6.)Bethlehem Steel

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you decipher this common phrase:

PICT RES

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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