WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 14, 2022
Things Southerners Are Really Picky About. PART TWO!
We are an easy-going people—until we’re not. The truth is that Southerners have more
regional “this is how it’s done” rules than most.
This one we’ll have to break down because it’s a huge category. As it turns out, we’re pickier about
food than just about anything else in our purview. Fasten your barbecue aprons—here we go.
Mayonnaise: We’re pretty sure families have divided over this one. Duke’s people can’t abide Hellman’s people and vice versa. Throw Blue Plate and Kraft into the mix, and you’ve got mayo mayhem. Which brand is really the best? Whatever Mama uses, of course.
Ketchup: Sweet, tangy, thick, thin, homemade, store-bought—everybody’s got an opinion.
Iced Tea: Try offering us instant, and we’ll smile politely and say, “Oh, water’s just fine.” Also, there
should be enough sugar in there to make ice cream. And fresh lemon.
Cornbread Dressing: Actually, we don’t even agree that it can be cornbread. Coastal folks are down with the oyster dressing. (But it really should be cornbread.)
Catfish: No batter, please. No cold grease, please.
Fried Chicken: How fried is fried enough? Light brown, deep gold, super crunchy, lightly breaded? That depends on how Mama did it. Juicy and tender on the inside, crisp and golden on the outside, Southern fried chicken is an art form. Approach that cast iron skillet with reverence.
Gumbo: Without a proper roux, it’s called “soup.”
Grits: Is it okay to serve instant grits? No. No, it is not.
Barbecue and BBQ Sauce: The best barbecue in the South is pulled pork from Alabama, served with white sauce. Isn’t that right, Texas and North Carolina?
Syrup: Are you a Yellow Label or Golden Eagle fan?
Chicken Salad: Step away from the Miracle Whip.
Pimiento Cheese: Can’t be soupy, can’t be dry, and needs just the right amount of kick.
Tomatoes: Rich color, firm texture, big flavor—these are requirements. Southerners would rather eat a lightning bug than a mushy, mealy tomato.
Greens: We’re not sure any of us can master them till we have grandchildren. Like fried chicken, greens are an art form.
Coleslaw: The shred of your cabbage says so much. Any big, unwieldy chunks tell your guests that you might wear velvet after Valentine’s Day.
Mac and Cheese or Chicken and Dumplings: Never from a box or a can.
Okra: Must be slime-free. And fried.
Bourbon: We’ll let y’all speak to this one, Kentucky. But we will say this . . .
We like to think the best judges of quality in almost any arena are our grandparents. And they seemed willing to make the sacrifice to help us with this taste test.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The Federal Communications Commission has had another terrible idea. The FCC is considering
a plan that would require U.S. citizens to pay $225 to make a complaint. So if you’re mad about
how high your cable bill is, soon you can pay the government $225 to complain about it. Boy,
they really have their fingers on our pulse, don’t they?” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave their baby.
They actually have a name for those parents: ‘celebrities.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“In Michigan, a man was too drunk to drive, so he had his 9-year-old daughter drive their van
for him. Yeah. As he was being arrested, he told the girl, ‘I’m going to need a lawyer. Go get
your little brother.'” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain.
Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time.
“Nonsense,” I said, inconsolable. “Men are good for only one thing!”
“Yes,” my mother interjected, “but how often do you have to parallel park?”😳
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“What I suggest is you go to an execution, and see a man be killed. You watch him die and you watch him beg.”
Answer: A Time to Kill!
Set in the American south, Jake Brigance has been hired to defend an African American accused of murdering the two rednecks who raped and beat his young daughter. Ellen Roark, a law student from the North is offering to assist him with his defense, free of charge. Surprisingly he doesn’t initially accept her help, and this conversation occurs while he is playing head games with her.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Now our blood flows through us like it has for all eternity. We raised our voices to the heavens in the words of mumbo-gumbo… YA-YA!”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
What is represented below?
C = @
D = !
N = *
O = %
T = #
U = /
@%*!/@# = ?
Answer: A code of conduct
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
We are four brothers in this world and we’re all born together.
The first one runs and never wearies.
The second eats and is never full.
The third drinks and is ever thirsty,
The fourth sings a song that is barely heard.
Who are we?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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