WELCOME to TUESDAY AUGUST 30, 2022
GOOD Job: A “Get-Out-Of-Debt” job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off
their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself
unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Midair Passenger Exchange: Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair
passenger exchanges are quickly followed by “aluminum rain.”
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a big mistake.
PEBCAK: Tech support shorthand for “Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard.” (Techies
are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They have numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at
the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on
the above is ID10T: “This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.”
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Perot: To quit unexpectedly, as in “My cellular phone just perot’ed.”
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s
heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
Square-Headed Girlfriend: Another word for a computer. The victim of a square-headed
girlfriend is a “computer widow.”
Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic
strip is worn away from extensive use.
Telephone Number Salary: A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.
Tourists: People who take in-house training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. “We
had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing
computer firm: “You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main
number and ask the operator for assistance.” See also Decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch: The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys for certain
commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing
the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
Yuppie Food Stamps: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when
trying to split the bill after a meal: “We all owe $8 each, but all anybody’s got is yuppie food stamps.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Last week, Twitter introduced a ‘quality filter’ that gets rid of tweets that
contain spam, mean, or unwanted content. An hour later,
Twitter filed for bankruptcy.” -Conan O’Brien
“Police in Australia are searching for a group of men seen releasing live crocodiles
into a school building. Though, if you ask me, they should probably
be searching for the crocodiles.” -Seth Meyers
“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health
problems. Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately
started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he
finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled.
It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading instructions.”
“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.” 😳
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You go out, wave your cap and give the people a thrill.”
“Why don’t you get an organ grinder? I could do a little dance.”
“If your knees are up for it, go ahead.”
Answer: A League of Their Own!
His promising baseball career cut short because of his drinking, Jimmy Dugan is not too impressed when he is asked to coach one of the new women’s baseball teams, that were formed during the war. The team’s owner, Harvey, wants Dugan because his name can still draw a crowd, and Dugan can’t afford to say no, but that doesn’t stop him from showing his disdain.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“The second mouse wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter, and he walked out.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
What is represented by the following?
Answer: One hit wonder. (one “hit”, one “der”)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
If a bull swallows a bomb, which word is the most appropriate?
Shocking, abominable, terrifying, or scandalous?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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