Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 9, 2022

Old Fashioned Insults We Should Bring Back. Part I

Afternoon Farmer
A laggard; a farmer who rises late and is behind in his chores; hence,
anyone who loses his opportunities.
All Hat and No Cattle
An empty boaster; a man who is all talk and no action.
Blunderbuss
A short gun, with a wide bore, for carrying slugs; also, a dumb, blundering fellow.
Cad
A mean fellow; a man trying to worm something out of another, either money or information.
Chatterbox or Clack-Box
An excessive, incessant talker or chatterer. “Clack-box” is the more derisive variation.
Chicken-Hearted
Cowardly, fearful.
Chuckle Head
Much the same as “buffle head,” “cabbage head,” “chowder head,” “cod’s head” —
all signifying stupidity and weakness of intellect; a fool.
Cow-Handed
Awkward.
Death’s Head Upon a Mop-Stick
A poor, miserable, emaciated fellow. He looked as pleasant as the pains of death.
Duke of Limbs
A tall, awkward fellow.
Dunderhead
Blockhead.
Fop, Foppish, Foppling, Fop-doodle
A man of small understanding and much ostentation; a pretender; a man fond of show,
dress, and flutter; an impertinent: foppery is derived from fop, and signifies the kind of folly
which displays itself in dress and manners: to be foppish is to be fantastically and affectedly fine;
vain; ostentatious; showy, and ridiculous: foppling is the diminutive of fop, a fool half-grown;
a thing that endeavors to attract admiration to its pretty person, its pretty dress, etc. In composition
it makes fop-doodle, a fool double-distilled; one that provokes ridicule and contempt, who thrusts
himself into danger with no other chance than a sound beating for his pains.
Fribble
A trifler, idler, good-for-nothing fellow; silly and superficial.
Fussbudget
A nervous, fidgety person.
Gadabout
A person who moves or travels restlessly or aimlessly from one social activity or place to
another, seeking pleasure; a trapesing gossip; as a housewife seldom seen at home,
but very often at her neighbor’s doors.
Gasser
Braggart.
Gentleman of Four Outs
When a vulgar, blustering fellow asserts that he is a gentleman, the retort generally is,
“Yes, a gentleman of four outs,” that is, without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.
Ginger-Snap
A hot-headed person.
Go-Alonger
A simple, easy person, who suffers himself to be made a fool of, and is readily persuaded
to any act or undertaking by his associates, who inwardly laugh at his folly.
Go By the Ground
A short person, man or woman.
Gollumpus
Large, clumsy fellow.
Greedy Guts
A covetous or gluttonous person.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all
an opportunity for me to rise.” — Kobe Bryant

“I like criticism. It makes you
strong.” — LeBron James

“You never really learn much from hearing
yourself speak.” ― George Clooney

“Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but
you still have the choice of how you’re going to
live through this.” — Celine Dion

“Life is never easy. There is work to be done and obligations
to be met – obligations to truth, to justice, and
to liberty.” — John F. Kennedy

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes
him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination
table. The vet examines the still, limp, cold body and after a few moments,
tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing
to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes
out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body,
walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.”
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead, so the vet brings in a black labrador.
The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.
The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.” The man,
finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.
The vet answers, “$650.”
“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.
The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.” 😳

Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep who could outwit you.
I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you ape?”
“Apes don’t read philosophy.”
“Yes they do, they just don’t understand it!”

Answer: A Fish Called Wanda!
When a group of criminals pull off a big diamond heist, they quickly find out that there isn’t any honour among thieves. This exchange takes place between two members of the group who are trying to steal the diamonds from the other two. Wanda is angry with Otto, because he has just threatened the very person who might be able to tell them where the diamonds are hidden. Charles Crichton directed this hilarious film that starred Jamie Lee Curtis, John Cleese, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin and Tom Georgeson.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“How do I know this is your horse?”
“Can’t you see this horse loves me?”
“I had a girl do that to me. It didn’t make her my wife.

Thursday’s Quizzler is….
What do all the words in this list have in common?

Lead
Sow
Bass
Wind
Tear
Object

Answer: All these words are heteronyms. Heteronyms are words which are spelled exactly
the same way but have different pronunciations and different meanings.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
In this teaser you are required to find a word relating to mathematics hiding in
consecutive letters within each sentence. Have fun!

Example:

“They knew that they had done the wrong thing.”

Answer: ADD located in: “…hAD Done…”

The governor gave the budget a cut everywhere possible.
It is rumoured that Capri men often marry Naples women.
He drove his new Mustang entirely too recklessly.
Groucho and Harpo were two of the Marx brothers.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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