WELCOME to THURSDAY FEBRUARY 2, 2023
BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.
GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.
HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.
HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.
JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.
LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.
SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.
WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area
drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The parents claim they give the kids
coffee only when they need it, like when the kid wakes up with a hangover.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Russian billionaire reportedly paid over $4 million to have Mariah Carey and
Sir Elton John perform at his teenage granddaughter’s wedding. Said his teenage
granddaughter, ‘Who are these people?'” -Seth Meyers
“Apple has changed back their design of the peach emoji to look more like a butt
after people were upset the new design no longer looked like a butt. So you see,
people – sometimes democracy DOES work!” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Caller: ‘Hi, can you connect me with Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of your user guide it clearly states that I need to
unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.
Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’ 😳😳😳😳
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I have always depended on the kindness of GOD” would not be out of place in “The Name of the Rose”
Answer: “A Streetcar Named Desire”
In “A Streetcar Named Desire”, Blanche DuBois is an aging belle who suffers from self-delusion and alcohol abuse. Finally committed to a mental institution after having suffered rape, she remarks to her doctor: “Whoever you are – I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”, summarizing her inability to manage her life in a rather resigned way.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“The fat CARETAKER, he knows. Eyes always watching.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
One hundred feet in the air, it lies with its back on the ground. What is it?
ANSWER: It`s a dead centipede.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
After a long day of work, I was relieved. I had been working since 4pm in a circuitry lab, working on the next big project. I observed the sun just starting to descend as I started to walk out to my car. All of a sudden, however, I had an urge to sneeze furiously! If it’s the middle of January on a windy day, what’s happening here?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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