Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s The Story…..
You know how in first grade they used fruits to explain stuff like “one banana plus two

bananas make three bananas”? Here’s a list of high school math courses based on bananas:

Algebra I – A
You have a negative banana (possibly made of antimatter). Add two bananas to it and you get one banana.

Algebra I – B
You have a banana. Factor it, or solve for apples using the quadratic formula.

Prove: Bananas are not vegetables. Given: Bananas are fruits.

Algebra II
You have an imaginary banana. Square it, and you get one of those weird anti-matter bananas.
The student learns that their dreams will become reality if they only raise them to the fourth power.

What is the cosecant of Pi over 2 bananas in a unit apple?

Calculus AB
The student learns to find the slope of a banana.

Calculus BC
The student learns to find the slope of a banana and also to find the area under the banana.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Engineers have begun trying to find a way to brew beer on the moon. Which means
we’ll soon have astronauts calling into Mission Control saying, ‘Houston,
we have a drinking problem.'” -Conan O’Brien

“According to a new report, 67 percent of millennials use Netflix, which must really tick
off whoever owns the account they’re using.” -Seth Meyers

“Wildlife officials in India are now putting wild monkeys on birth control to help curb the
recent population spike. This is good for wildlife, and even better for female monkeys
who want to focus on their careers.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The heaviest element known to science is Managerium.
This element has no protons or electrons, but has a nucleus made up of 1 neutron,
2 vice-neutrons, 5 junior vice-neutrons, 25 assistant vice-neutrons, and 125 junior
assistant vice-neutrons all going round in circles.

Managerium has a half-life of three years, at which time it does not decay but institutes
a series of reviews leading to reorganization. Its molecules are held together by means
of the exchange of tiny particles known as morons. 😳😳😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“There is always someone left to DECEIVE”

Answer: “Gladiator”
In the historic epic “Gladiator” (2000), Emperor Marcus Aurelius wishes to to reward General Maximus for another triumphant victory. “There is always someone left to fight. How can I reward Rome’s greatest General?” Maximus replies he’d rather go home and end the bloodshed, but the ailing Emperor has a different vision – to make him his successor as protector of Rome, a fate that would not come to be when Commodus, the Emperor’s son, kills his father the following night.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“The MATRIX will be with you, always.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
For each of the pairs of words below, insert a word in the blank space between them to form two separate words such that the inserted word finishes the first word and begins the second. For example, given “MAN __ ON”, you would insert the word “GO” to form “MANGO” and “GOON”. The hint gives the number of letters in each of the words that must be inserted.

SIN ___

ANSWER: NOW (winnow, nowhere)
US (discus, usage)
DON (tendon, donor)
HEM (anthem, hemlock)
KING (sinking, kingship)

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Starting with a one-letter word, symbol, or abbreviation (Clue 1), add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next (Clue 2). Add another letter and rearrange for the next…and the next. You end up with a 10-letter word (Clue 10)!
[Foreign words may be used, but only if they are in common English usage.]

A clue is given for each word. Words increase in length by one letter at a time.

Maybe your car does 0 to 60 in 10 sec., but can you solve this “0 to 10” word pyramid in 60 sec.? Go on – open the stopwatch app!

** CLUES **

  1. Churchill’s ‘Victory’ fingers
  2. The ‘idiot box’
  3. James Herriot or Debbye Turner, for example
  4. What we do for our national leader every 3 years in New Zealand; (5 in UK; 4 in USA)
  5. Plainly seen
  6. Secretive (opposite of #5)
  7. Change (e.g. currency)
  8. Orchestrate or ‘work it’
  9. Directing (an aircraft) towards a destination
  10. Exaggerating or ‘hamming it up’

The Hint will provide starting letters from #6 onwards.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. ​ ​​ ​ ​


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