WELCOME to THURSDAY APRIL 13, 2023
Mother’s dictionary
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re
going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to
your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that
children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins
to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask
where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” —Mitch Hedberg
“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”
—President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove
“My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better
you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls
“Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season.
That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping
season for men is Christmas Eve.” —David Letterman
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a
wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, “That’s once.”
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, “That’s twice.”
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn’t say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled
out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride yelled, telling him,
“That was an awful thing to do.”
The farmer said, “That’s once.” 😳😳😳
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!”
Answer: National Lampoon’s Animal House!
Set in 1962 at fictional Faber College, “National Lampoon’s Animal House” follows the antics of the members of the less than prestigious Delta Tau Chi fraternity. Following a series of campus violations and mishaps, the Deltas, who are already on probation, have their charter revoked by the school’s Dean, Vernon Wormer. Things only get worse for the frat boys, as their midterm grades are so bad that Wormer has them all expelled, which means they are now eligible for the draft.
The quote is part of an impassioned speech delivered by the fraternity’s sergeant-at-arms John “Bluto” Blutarsky (John Belushi), in an attempt to rally his frat brothers, after they have all but given up. In the end the Deltas get their revenge against the school and Dean Wormer by converting an old car into a float and turning the annual homecoming parade into a complete and utter disaster.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m your huckleberry.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Insert one word in each pair to link the two words together. The end of the first word is the beginning of the second.
- Short _ _ _ _ Light
- Arch _ _ __ Station
- Dill _ _ _ _ _ _ Barrel
- Corn _ _ _ _ __ Box
- Bar _ _ _ _ __ Pigeon
ANSWER: 1. Stop
- Way
- Pickle
- Bread
- Stool
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Beginning with the word “AT”, continue adding letters from the given pool to create new words, until you
are left with a seven-letter word that means “shaped like an open palm”. You can add a letter to any spot
in the word, but you cannot mix-up the order of letters while doing so.
Pool: A E L M P
1) AT
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
The hint gives short definitions of all words created in the process of finding
the final seven-letter word (This will make the teaser really easy!).
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
The World According to the Eucman! 