WELCOME to WEDNESDAY APRIL 19, 2023

THE GUIDE TO WIFE TRANSLATIONS….

The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want

The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want

The wife says: It’s your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain

The wife says: Sure… go ahead
The wife means: I don’t want you to

The wife says: I’n not upset
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron

The wife says: You’re … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.

The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No

The wife says: No
The wife means: No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No

The wife says: I’m sorry
The wife means: You’ll be sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.

The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new report claims that William Shakespeare was a marijuana user and may have
been high when he wrote some of his plays. Which explains that one line:
‘To be, or not to be… Wait, what was the question?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A new study suggests that not all psychopaths are bad. ‘Thank you,’ said people
who pour the milk in before the cereal.” -Seth Meyers

“In international news, police in Italy have arrested 10 people for stealing more than $250,000 in
fine wine and gourmet cheese. Yes, their motive is they were hosting a book club. When the police
caught them, they said the thieves were armed and extremely constipated.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife
who was trying to feed her said to me, “Straighten her up.”
I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this
way forever? It’s time to grow up and take some responsibility.”
My wife hasn’t asked me to help with her since.

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“There’s no crying in baseball!”

Answer: A League of Their Own!
“A League of Their Own” is a fictionalized story about the real-life All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL), and one of its founding members the Rockford Peaches. The film takes place in 1943, where due to America’s participation in World War II, most of the male professional baseball players have been shipped overseas. Rather than shut Major League Baseball down, the owners get together and decide to create a women’s league, so as to keep the sport in the public eye.
The movie follows the trials and tribulations of the Peaches’ first season together, which ends with the team’s appearance in the inaugural AAGPBL World Series.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“People all say that I’ve had a bad break. But today…today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Take the list of words below and arrange them into 3 sentences that all have something in common. Each word is only used once for each time it appears in the list. Punctuation is not an issue in this teaser in the initial placement of words. Only names are capitalized to start with.

DAD, LET, LETS, LEW, MARGE, MISSES, NO, NORAH, ORDERED, ROSES, SEE, SHARON’S, SIMON, TELEGRAM, TELL, WE’LL,

What are the sentences and what do they have in common?

ANSWER: 1: MARGE LETS NORAH SEE SHARON’S TELEGRAM.
2: WE’LL LET DAD TELL LEW.
3: NO MISSES ORDERED ROSES, SIMON.
All three sentences, when correctly placed, are palindromes. They read the same backward and forward.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
What 5 letter English word does not change in pronunciation even when you take away 4 of its letters?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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