Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY APRIL 19, 2023

Twenty Things a Guy Learned From Action Movies

No matter what my problem is, it’s the fault of someone other than myself, and the
appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands.
To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell
whether she’s cold or not from across the room.
There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that want to go to have relations with you,
and the type want to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25 years old.
If I rudely argue with my boss in front of my co-workers, not only won’t he fire me,
but he will gain a profound respect for me.
If I can find an important enough mission, it will supercede my obligations to perform
household chores, bathe, and call the next day.
If I go without bathing, swear a lot, and treat women badly, they will adore me.
If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and I curse in pain, she will fall in love with me.
Anyone who isn’t a cop, mercenary soldier, and/or private investigator is a homosexual. Or at least a sissy.
If I have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of us dies, we will become best friends.
My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my father, and
he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for me before I kill him with my bare hands.
When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will never be arrested or troubled by
their widowed wife and children. When people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a
‘flesh wound,’ which will be tended to by a beautiful woman.
Nuclear weapons will never go off because something will always happen about three seconds
before one does to stop it from exploding.
If an aged scientist is involved in any way, he will have a beautiful daughter who will gaze at me adoringly.
If royalty is involved, it will include a beautiful princess who will gaze at me adoringly.
If I have a kid partner, he will be tightly-muscled, clean-cut, and gaze at me adoringly.
If I am asked to compete against a world champion at any sport or game of any type, I will win.
This will infuriate my opponent, who will then try to kill me.
If my opponent has a side-kick or henchman, he will never have a sensible name like ‘Rick,’ or ‘Steve.’
Beautiful women will frequently furrow their brows with concern and ask, “When’s the last time you
got any sleep?” They will never ask when I last bathed or used the toilet, although I apparently never do those things either.
The aliens will always be overpowered by the humans in the end though their fighting may result in a lot of casualties and destruction.
If everyone in a team dies, it’s the last man’s job to win the fight against his enemy.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“People have been selling fake parking spaces. They charge people to park in spots
that they have no ownership of. Here’s a tip to avoid becoming a victim of this fraud.
If you find a parking space during the festival, it’s a scam.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a
stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers

“There are now 20 million people in America who do yoga. And none of whom ever
shut up about the fact that they do yoga.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher
came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up
from there, I’m going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together
the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned
the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s you’re name?”
“Sam,” the cowboy moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?”
With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The balcony.” 😳😳😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“People all say that I’ve had a bad break. But today…today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.”

Answer: The Pride of the Yankees!
“The Pride of the Yankees” stars Gary Cooper as legendary Yankee first baseman Lou Gehrig, a gifted baseball player whose life was cut short by Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gherig’s disease. The film follows Gehrig from his days as a star player for the Columbia University baseball team, his eventual signing by the Yankees, and finally his losing battle against the deadly disease. The film, which was released in July of 1942, also featured a few of Gherig’s former teammates including, Babe Ruth, Bill Dickey and Bob Meusel portraying themselves. The quote comes from a farewell speech delivered by Gehrig to an adoring Yankee Stadium crowd.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you’re right. Maybe we would have been better off, if we had never gotten married.”

Weddnesday’s Quizzler is….
What 5 letter English word does not change in pronunciation even when you take away 4 of its letters?

ANSWER: Queue

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word are a series of letter groupings. Your task is to
find the 8-letter answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.

Example:

Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep

Answer:

Fro evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE

Spine: btc har com bak bol tro and ent
Private: phr eai lrd oms gop nep anl wld
Proclaim: abc ran uon mou umk ens sch tec
Canine guard: cwt ahr ort cul ghi dgh hio trg

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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