WELCOME to MONDAY APRIL 24, 2023
The Top Signs You’re Out of Shape
You’ve ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.
People at work only refer to you by saying “Hey fatso!”
You’ve thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.
Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.
Your record is 34 Pushups and you could have done more if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.
You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin’ To The Oldies.
You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.
Watching Rocky 5 is your idea of a workout video.
The sales clerk nicely but firmly pulls you away from the jeans rack and whispers “Its Sansabelt Time, Tubby”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options.
Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It’s the half a burrito you woke up next to.” -Seth Meyers
“A school in Tennessee is facing criticism for separating students with bad grades from students with
good grades at lunch. That’s crazy! You don’t use grades to separate kids. Everyone knows that kids
should be separated by clothes, looks, and how much money their parents make.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that middle age begins
the first time you eat at a Denny’s while sober.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I’m not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted
my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and
told the florist to enclose a card that read, ‘Thanks for putting up with me so long.’
When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” I said.
She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: “Thanks for putting up with me. So long.” 😳😳😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you’re right. Maybe we would
have been better off, if we had never gotten married.”
Answer: Everything, Everywhere, All At Once!
Ke Huy Quan won the Best Supporting Actor award for playing Waymond Wang in “Everything, Everywhere All At Once”. It is he who laments this sad quote in that film to his wife, Evelyn Wang, played by Michelle Yeoh, the Best Actress winner for this film. It is toward the end of the film, as the gentle Waymond confronts Evelyn and they discuss the regrets about life that weigh on her. She counters that she never said she thought they’d be better off, but he tells her, “You didn’t have to. It’s the way you look at me.” And as the ultimate stand on how he feels about her, he heart-breakingly tells her, “So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“When you’re starving, you’ll do anything.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word are a series of letter groupings. Your task is to
find the 8-letter answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.
Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep
Fro evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE
- Spine: btc har com bak bol tro and ent
- Private: phr eai lrd oms gop nep anl wld
- Proclaim: abc ran uon mou umk ens sch tec
- Canine guard: cwt ahr ort cul ghi dgh hio trg
ANSWER: 1. Spine: Btc hAr Com baK Bol trO aNd Ent = BACKBONE
- Private: Phr Eai lRd omS gOp Nep Anl wLd = PERSONAL
- Proclaim: Abc raN uoN mOu Umk eNs sCh tEc = ANNOUNCE
- Canine guard: cWt Ahr orT Cul gHi Dgh hiO trG = WATCHDOG
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Five students convinced their school to donate the excess textbooks to children overseas that needed them. From
the clues given determine the student in charge, the area of the world the books are going to, the subject of the
textbook, and how many boxes of books were shipped.
1) Neither the history department nor the department that helped James Call send 7 boxes sent theirs to Africa.
2) The math department, which Shelby Smith supervised, sent 2 more boxes than those that were sent to South America.
3) Joseph Cox’s group sent more than 3 boxes.
4) Caroline Wood did not send her boxes to North Africa.
5) The number of boxes of English books that were sent to Central America was less than 7.
6) Haley Thomas sent more than 4 boxes.
7) The music department sent less boxes then the amount sent to West Africa, which did not receive 5.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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