Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY APRIL 25, 2023

The 5 toughest questions for men are:

What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument
if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question
is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what
a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted
you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah, tons.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I’ve seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty..
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend
the insurance money if you died.

Question# 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study reports that older women are doing more and more binge drinking. I
asked my mom if that was true and she said, ‘I love you, man.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A 16-year-old boy in Bosnia broke a world record this week by smashing 111 concrete
blocks with his head in 34 seconds. Get an Xbox! You don’t have to do that. When asked
how it felt to break the world record, the boy said, ‘Lampshade
tricycle is my favorite flavor of pizza truck.'” -James Corden

“Arby’s is facing multiple lawsuits currently, after a data breach exposed the credit card
information of over 350,000 customers. The data breach could reveal potentially
embarrassing information, like the fact that they ate at Arby’s.” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Noel, noel, noel, noel … the angels did say…
E.T. went home.
Get rid of X. There’s too many unknowns in the world already!
(Only one vowel left, or is that “Anly ana vawal laft” This may be stretching it a bit, but
not unless you consider, as our good friends in Canada say: Good day, A!
And we all know that M&Ms melt in your mouth, so it’s safe to count them out.
And of course, Y not.
We might as well put off using U until later in the year: See U in September
TWA just took off!! 😳😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“When you’re starving, you’ll do anything.”

Answer: All Quiet On The Western Front!
Felix Kammerer plays Paul Bäumer, the lead character through whose eyes we see the battle scenes in
“All Quiet On The Western Front”. He says this during his attempt to sneak into a farmer’s enclosure,
along with his friend Stanislaus Katczinsky, played by Albrecht Schuch. They are seeking to see what sort
of farm animal they might be able to steal, as the two soldiers are close to starving during the final days
of World War I and German forces are being depleted more and more.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“This is our home. This is our fortress. This is where we make our stand.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….
Five students convinced their school to donate the excess textbooks to children overseas that needed them. From
the clues given determine the student in charge, the area of the world the books are going to, the subject of the
textbook, and how many boxes of books were shipped.

1) Neither the history department nor the department that helped James Call send 7 boxes sent theirs to Africa.
2) The math department, which Shelby Smith supervised, sent 2 more boxes than those that were sent to South America.
3) Joseph Cox’s group sent more than 3 boxes.
4) Caroline Wood did not send her boxes to North Africa.
5) The number of boxes of English books that were sent to Central America was less than 7.
6) Haley Thomas sent more than 4 boxes.
7) The music department sent less boxes then the amount sent to West Africa, which did not receive 5.

Answer: Shelby Smith sent 6 boxes of math books to West Africa.
Caroline Wood sent 3 boxes of English books to Central America.
James Call sent 7 boxes of chemistry books to Northern India.
Haley Thomas sent 5 boxes of music books to North Africa.
Joseph Cox sent 4 boxes of history books to South America.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
I can be straight or not
I can be flat or round
I have three layers
The rounder I am – the straighter I am
I can be a person’s trademark
I can be chemically challenged

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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