WELC0ME to WEDNESDAY MARCH 6. 2024
Here’s The Story….
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was
to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved,
and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise.
She booked passage on a cruise liner – first class all the way… The cruise started off in a
grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night. But Penny was a cautious girl, so she
never drank, but just danced the night away.
One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin, when
the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn’t enough, the ship chose
that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were
immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship’s
crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.
Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said before, Penny was a very conscientious
girl, and had written a will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and
kept in a jar on her parent’s fireplace mantel. Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show
you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned. 😳😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A new survey found that one-third of married women with pets say their animals
are better listeners than their husbands. When husbands heard that they were like,
‘Huh? You say something?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“During rush hour here in New York yesterday, a woman gave birth in the back of
an Uber. The mother was overjoyed while the other people in her Uber pool were
like, ‘We’ll walk from here.'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never
please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was
always cold, she decided to cut some wood and build a fire in the fireplace to heat the
place up. She spent all day chopping, hauling and stacking wood. Subsequently,
she wound up shredding the sleeves of her habit.
Later that night, as the other nuns came into the rectory, they were delighted to find
the place warm and cozy, with a big fire roaring in the fireplace. Then Mother Superior
comes in and yells, “Sister Mary! Go fix your torn habit this instant!”
Sister Mary, crying, asks, “But Mother Superior, aren’t you happy that the abbey is warm?”
To which the Mother Superior replies, “Yes, but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve.”
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“That means the baby stays here and you sit!”
Answer: “Look Who’s Talking”
James Ubriacco (John Travolta) was a taxi cab driver in “Look Who’s Talking”. . He took Mikey (voiced by Bruce Willis) out while Mollie (Kristie Alley) took a nap. He originally met her when she went into labor with Mikey and hailed his cab to go to the hospital. Mollie left her wallet in his cab, so he had her address. He was trying to use her mailing address for his grandfather, to get him into a nursing home near there. Mollie and James have only just recently, officially met, but she agreed to let him babysit Mikey in exchange for using the address. However, when she woke up, she panicked, seeing her son and the taxicab driver gone. James walked in with Mikey, and after making sure Mikey was okay she started hitting James and yelling at him. He told her that he was babysitting. She told him, “That means the baby stays here and you sit!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I can see! It’s a miracle!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
The below classified ads were spotted in this week’s newspaper. They all share a common feature.
What is that common feature, and who is each ad’s author?
- Crimson cloaked young female seeks protection services. Task include food courier service. Outdoor experience a plus. Inquire with grandmother.
- For Sale: 20 mattresses. Like new, used only once. Each shares common irregularity, not discernible by most. Make offer.
- For Sale: Two adjacent lots. Located near new brick housing. Land can be cleared of debris upon request. Will build to suit.
- Debris removal services required. Have large amounts of vegetation that requires cut up and removal. Please call for details. Gold or specialty hybrid seeds available for trade.
- Lost: 1 Slipper, translucent in color. Sentimental value. Last seen, yesterday before midnight. Please leave message with stepmother.
ANSWER: All the ads are all from fairy tale characters.
- Grandmother (Little Red Riding Hood)
- The Old Queen (Princess & the Pea)
- The 3rd little pig (3 Little Pigs)
- Jack’s widowed mom (Jack and the Beanstalk)
- Cinderella’s stepmother (Cinderella)
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Duffus loved potato chips almost as much as he loved his tea. The problem was when he had large family gatherings, all the kids would devour his snacks before he could. His marble game worked for a while, but his trick was soon found out. So, Duffus came up with another way to keep the snacks for himself and yet make it seem as though he wasn’t the greedy snack hog he was. Duffus took two large bowls, one wood and one plastic, and placed them up high so that the kids couldn’t see the contents.
He then said, “One is full and the other is empty. You get whatever is in the bowl you pick. You can pick only once, but you must decipher my clues and explain to me which bowl you think has the chips and why. And no random guessing allowed.”
He then gave them these clues:
- The polyester shirt I’m wearing.
- A cotton shirt in my closet.
- A hollow cardboard toilet paper roll.
- This plastic cup I’m drinking my tea from.
- The acrylic socks I’m wearing.
- An empty paper lunch bag.
What do the clues have in common with each other and the bowls?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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