WELC0ME to FRIDAY APRIL 12. 2024

Favorite Police Emergency Calls:

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn….
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A five-year-old girl who ran a lemonade stand in London was fined $195 for not
having the proper trading permit. See, this is why I make my kids open their
lemonade stands offshore on the Cayman Islands.” -James Corden

“According to Vanity Fair, the Queen of England has four alcoholic beverages every
day, including a glass of champagne before bed. Champagne before bed?
Who does she think she is, herself?” -Seth Meyers

“A new study finds that George Clooney has the most handsome face because of
his eyes, nose, chin, and mouth. In other words, he has the most
handsome face because of his face.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up
at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?” No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the
second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Cindy, you know by tattling on your friends, you’re really just tattling on yourself.
By tattling on your friends, you’re just telling them that you’re a tattletale. Now, is that the tale you want to tell?”

Answer: A Brady Bunch Movie!
This 1995 movie was based on the television series of “The Brady Bunch” which ran from 1969-1974. The character Cindy was the youngest girl in the Brady family and the line came from when her father, Mike Brady, was having a heart to heart conversation with her about telling on someone. Watch the movie to find out who. Was it Alice? Was it Tiger? I’m not telling because then I would be a tattle tale. (Smile)

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What is your nationality?” “I’m a drunkard.” “That makes Rick a citizen of the world.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Al and Ben are standing back to back next to a railroad track. When the front of a train passes them, Al starts to walk in the opposite direction of the train, while Ben starts to walk in the same direction as the train. Each stops walking when the back of the train passes him. If the two of them walk at the same speed, and Al walks exactly 30 feet, and Ben walks exactly 45 feet, how long is the train?

ANSWER: The train is 180 feet long.
When the back of the train passes Al, he and Ben have both walked 30 feet, meaning Ben will walk 15 feet more when the train passes him. 30 feet that Al walks plus 45 feet that Ben walks makes 75 feet that the back of the train travels in the same time that Ben walks 15 feet, meaning the train is 5 times as fast as Al and Ben. In the time it takes Al to walk 30 feet, the front of the train moves 150 feet. This distance plus the 30 feet that Al has walked equals 180 feet.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Flat – Pump
2. Feather – Crate
3. Bet – Stop
4. Ear – Trip
5. Lopes – Shills

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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