WELCOME to FRIDAY MARCH 28, 2025

Favorite Police Emergency Calls:

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey?
I’ve never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…
I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn….
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police. 😮😮😮

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A resort in Mexico has opened the first underwater bar. Shortly afterwards
it became host to the world’s slowest bar fight ever.” -Conan O’Brien

“Taco Bell announced it will begin selling a potato-rito, which is beef, cheese,
potatoes, and chipotle spice wrapped in a tortilla for $1. Or, for the
same nutritional value, just eat the dollar.” -Seth Meyers

“Vin Diesel is with us tonight. Vin is not his real name. His real name is
Vehicle Identification Number.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up
at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?” No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second
and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a novelist who slowly goes insane in an isolated hotel.

Answer: “The Shining”
John Joseph “Jack” Nicholson was born in New Jersey in 1937. Nicholson was interested in acting as a child and began by playing small roles in television and theater in the mid 1950s. He made his film debut in 1958 in a low-budget teen drama film. Nicholson played private detective Jake Gittes in “Chinatown” (1974), mental patient Randall McMurphy in 1975’s “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, a novelist who slowly goes insane in an isolated hotel in 1980’s “The Shining”, and an Irish mobster in “The Departed” (2006).

Friday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a Depression-era Oklahoma farmer relocating to California to find work in 1940’s.

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Andrew Richardson, deputy head cryptographer at a top department of defence (DOD) facility, was working late one night. The last set of codes he received to decipher came from NASA ‘s space station. Apparently they had been receiving the same 5 set of codes over the past week on a high frequency band in visual digital format. They read……………

wmoa eemn cfuu orrs
wkia eesn ltpe ihlt
hwth oeno pgem eewe
wsta auob rnpl ispe
aust lmmd laui hnse

“Strange,” Andy thought. “Never received work from this site before.”
Eager to finish and get home, he set to work on figuring out the troublesome codes. The first one took him some time ………….

WE COME FROM URANUS.

“What!” he laughed. He thought it was a joke or that he had deciphered incorrectly. However he continued using the same template, and by the time he’d finished he wasn’t laughing anymore. He quickly picked up his phone and dialed his director and then the head of the DOD. Somehow he knew he wasn’t going home tonight.

What did Andy find that got him so worried?

ANSWER: All the codes can be broken by arranging the 16 letters in a grid of 4*4 from left to right.
The result is a phrase readable via the columns starting at the top left corner, reading down and ending at the bottom right corner

Using the first code
wmoa eemn cfuu orrs

W M O A
E E M N
C F U U
O R R S

You should be able to read ……..
WE COME FROM URANUS.

The other codes read:

WE LIKE THIS PLANET.
HOPE WE GET NEW HOME.
WAR IS UNSTOPPABLE.
ALL HUMANS MUST DIE.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Mike Jones, a travel agent at the Bon Voyage travel agency, was mildly surprised when five college students stopped by his office last Saturday morning, since each booked his spring-break trip months ahead of time. Each student came into the store at a different time and booked a trip to a different destination via a different mode of transportation.
From the information provided, can you determine the time in the morning at which each student stopped by, as well as the destination and mode of transportation each chose?

1. Taylor came into the office at some point after the student who booked the trip to Miami. The student who booked a train ticket came in at 11:00 a.m.
2. The student who came in at 9:00 a.m. (who isn’t the one named Allen) booked the trip to Washington D.C.
3. Brian (who booked a rental car) came in exactly 30 minutes after Paul (who booked a trip to Orlando).
4. The student who booked a trip to the Virgin Islands via sailboat is not the one who came in at 10:30 a.m.
5. Dennis is not the one who booked a bus reservation.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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