WELCOME to FRIDAY APRIL 25, 2025
Here’s The Story…..
In order to make the world a better place, the following rules will take immediate effect across the planet.
- It is no longer permitted to be stupid and slow. You must choose one or the other.
- If in the course of parking your car you are not able to maneuver the vehicle into a space in
less time than it takes to undergo and recover from open heart surgery, it is not permitted to park in that space. - If you are waiting for an elevator that is slow to come and you are the sort of person who pushes the
call button repeatedly in the belief that it will make a difference, you are no longer permitted to use elevators. - Boxes of Christmas cards that carry messages like “May your holidays be wrapped in warmth
and touched with wonder” must bear a label on the outside of the box saying: “Do Not Purchase
- Message Inside Is Embarrassing and Sentimental.”
- In office buildings and retail premises in which entry is through double doors and one of those
doors is locked for no reason, the door must bear a large sign saying: “This Door Is Locked for No Reason.” - Liver and goat cheese will no longer be regarded as foods. In fancy restaurants, salads may no
longer contain anything that can be found growing at the side of any public highway. - When standing in line at a retail establishment, it is not permitted to engage the sales assistant in
conversation regarding the weather, the health or personal relationships of mutual acquaintances or
other matters not relevant to the purchase.
7a. Anyone who reaches the front of a line and says, “Now what do I want?” and purses his lips thoughtfully
or drums his fingers on his chin while studying the ordering options as if
for the first time will be taken outside and shot.
- Any electronic clock on which the time is set by holding down a button and scrolling laboriously through
the minutes and hours is illegal. Also, when you are trying to set the alarm for, say, 7:00 a.m. and the numbers
get to about 6:52 and then suddenly speed up and you discover that you have gone past the desired hour and
have to start all over, that is extremely illegal. - All Americans will appreciate irony. Britons will understand that two ice cubes in a drink is not nearly enough.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents
for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off.” -Conan O’Brien
“Indonesia’s anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on
an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day
but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality
TV show I would totally watch.” -James Corden
“New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women
to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don’t think the other people in the restaurant
would be too happy about it.” -Seth Meyers
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
SOMETIMES…
Sometimes…
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes…
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes…
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.
Sometimes…
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.
But fart just ONE TIME! 😬😁
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
In 1999’s ‘The Sixth Sense’, Cole (Haley Joel Osment) brings a video tape to a
young girl’s funeral. What is revealed on the tape?
Answer: The girl was poisoned
It was so eerie when her ghost threw up in Cole’s tent.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day!
What tale from classic American literature did Tim Burton and
Johnny Depp bring to the screen in 1999?
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
“Uncle Jimmy, we’re studying Norse mythology and I keep forgetting some of the names, can you help?” Andrew asked.
“Certainly,” Jimmy replied, “let’s pick a few to start with: Odin, his wife Frigg, Thor, and Tyr.
You really already know these names, or at least the Anglo-Saxon equivalent.
Woden is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Odin, the wise, one-eyed, chief god.
Frige is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Frigg, the goddess of clouds and sky.
Thunor is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Thor, the god of thunder.
Tiw is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Tyr, the god of war and battle.”
“Sorry, but those names don’t seem any more familiar,” Andrew protested.
“What if I told you those four names are related to the sun, the moon, and the planet Saturn?”
“What? That’s even more confusing.”
“Final clue, they are the basis of a naming system that we use every day.”
In what way are these names commonly used about which Andrew should be aware?
ANSWER: They are the basis for our names of the days of the week.
Sunday – Sunnandaeg – Sun’s day
Monday – Monandaeg – Moon’s day
Tuesday – Tiwesdaeg – Tiw’s day
Wednesday – Wodnesdaeg – Woden’s day
Thursday – Thunresdaeg – Thunor’s day
Friday – Frigedaeg – Frige’s day
Saturday – Saeternesdaeg – Saturn’s day
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Jennifer and four of her friends are members of “Friends of The Bard”, a Shakespeare fan club. The last meeting of the year is tomorrow morning, and each member is coming dressed as her favorite character and will read a passage from her favorite play. Everyone signed up to bring refreshments. Unfortunately, Jennifer’s mischievous cat spread chocolate icing (from Jennifer’s refreshment) all over the sign up sheets and she can’t read it! Can you help her determine the full name of each member, their favorite characters, their favorite plays, and what refreshment they signed up to bring?
First names: Cheryl, Jennifer, Marilyn, Patty, Stacey
Last names: Carlson, Jameson, Malone, Pennington, Sullivan
Characters: Ariel, Kate, Mercutio, Ophelia, Puck
Plays: Hamlet, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Romeo and Juliet, The Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest
Refreshments: Brie, chips and dip, crackers, cupcakes, soda.
- No one’s first name begins with the same letter as their last name.
- No one is bringing a snack that begins with the same letter as their first or last name.
- The five members are Cheryl, Ms. Malone, the one who is bringing Brie, the one whose favorite character is Puck, and the one whose favorite play is The Tempest.
- Ms. Sullivan, who is not Marilyn (whose favorite play isn’t The Taming of the Shrew), once played Ophelia (who is not her favorite character) in her favorite play Hamlet.
- Cheryl’s favorite character reminds her of a certain red-haired mermaid.
- Ms. Jameson (who hates Romeo and Juliet) feels that she can relate to her favorite character Ophelia.
- The one who is bringing the chips and dip (who isn’t Marilyn) loves The Tempest.
- Patty loves the wit of Mercutio and can’t wait to read a monologue from Romeo and Juliet.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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