WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JULY 30th, 2025
 
ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
 
 That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 
“A high school student has developed an app that helps teens locate a welcoming group
of kids in the lunchroom called ‘Sit With Us’ – or as bullies call it, ‘Victim Finder.'” -Seth Meyers

“Wal-Mart is working on a self-driving shopping cart that would return itself to the store
after you’re done using it. Though the minute that Wal-Mart shopping cart becomes self-aware,
it’s going to drive itself to Target and never look back.” -Jimmy Fallon

“In Florida, a drunk half-naked woman crashed her car into a Waffle House. Just a reminder,
once again Florida will likely determine who our next president is.” -Conan O’Brien  

 
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious
little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.
Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, “Have any of the items
you plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?”
The young mother replied honestly, “The luggage, no; the children, yes.” 
 
 
 

Tuesday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!  
This movie is set in Ireland. John Wayne portrays an Irish boxer who returns to his native Ireland following the death of his opponent in the U.S. This film was one of five that included Maureen O’Hara, herself a native of Ireland, as his co-star.

Answer:  The Quiet Man! 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!  
This movie features Heath Ledger as William Thatcher, a peasant who takes on the persona of a knight named Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein. During his travels, Thatcher comes across Geoffrey Chaucer, whom he hires to make him fake patents of nobility so he can join the jousting circuit. Chaucer then becomes Sir Ulrich’s herald for the tournaments and his introductions grow more elaborate as time goes on.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Can you figure out the logic I used to decide the order of the following words:
gun, shoe, spree, door, hive, kicks, heaven, gate, line, den

ANSWER:  Each word rhymes with its numeric position in the list. (e.g. “gun” rhymes with “one”, etc.)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
An old fellow is driving home. It’s late at night. He’s travelling along the highway, and he’s some considerable distance from home. Suddenly, he feels himself having a heart attack. He says, “Oh my God. It’s the big one.” Thinking quickly, he takes the first available exit.

As luck would have it, he winds up in a residential neighborhood. It’s very late at night. He pulls over to the side of the road behind some parked cars. He’s fading fast, but he has the presence of mind to pull out his cell phone and call 911.

He says to the dispatcher, “I need help. I’m having a heart attack.” She says, “Where are you?”

And the rest of the conversation goes something like this:
He: “I don’t know where I am.”
She: “What exit did you take?”
He: “I don’t remember.”
She: “Were you going north or south or east?”
He: “I don’t remember.”
She: “Can you tell me what street you’re on?”
He: “I’m in the middle of the block. I’m parked behind some cars. I didn’t see any street signs.”
She: “Start blowing the horn. Someone will come out of the house.”

No one comes out.

She then asks him to do one more thing. Minutes later, an ambulance is on its way there and saves his life.

What did she ask him to do?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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