WELCOME to MONDAY DECEMBER 8th, 2025

Marriage Definitions

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby 
they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will 
not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits 
the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of 
mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t 
have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very 
same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A town in Israel is building an amusement park that some are calling ‘the Jewish Disneyland.’ 
The Jewish Disneyland still has Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, except 
Doc is the chief of cardiology at Cedars-Sinai.” -Conan O’Brien

“Researchers just unveiled a robot that can play Scrabble. It’s pretty realistic. 
It even gets bored halfway through and stops playing.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A recent study suggests that it is harder to concentrate in the winter. Said researchers, 
‘For example, this study was supposed to be about traffic accidents.'” -Seth Meyers 
 
 
 

 
 
VISIT MY ELECTRONIC STORE FOR GREAT SALES: https://xgcspc-vw.myshopify.com/
 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Caller: ‘Hi, can you connect me with Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of your user guide it clearly states that I need 
to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before 
cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’ 😮😮
 
 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
This movie is about a woman who saves a man’s life by pulling his unconscious 
body away from the path of an incoming train! 

Answer: The 1995 romantic comedy While You Were Sleeping, starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman.  
 
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!  
In this movie, a baby monitor was used as a walkie talkie, but it picked up alien clicking noises.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
“Rupert Brown’s radio was blaring loud enough to wake the dead!” said Betty Beety. “Anyway, I went over to give him a piece of my mind. When I arrived there, I found his front door open, with his feet sticking out!”
“Must have been quite a shock,” Lieutenant Georgeton said.
“Not as big a shock as when I walked in and saw that he had been plugged between the eyes!”
“Oh my,” Georgeton agreed. “Now tell me Mrs. Beety, did you see or hear anything else?”
“Nope, I just flicked off the radio and hightailed it back here to call you folks.”
Georgeton glowered. “You shouldn’t have touched the radio, Mrs. Beety.”
Georgeton returned to Rupert Brown’s trailer and found Sergeant Sprott standing out front with two women. “Lieutenant, this is Allison and Maggie White. They live just across the way. Allison just got home a few moments ago but–“
“I saw the killer,” Maggie blurted. “Plain as day.”
“What?! You didn’t tell me that!” exclaimed Allison.
“I didn’t have a chance to tell you anything yet since you got home, with the police being here.”
“What happened?!” Allison demanded.
“Well…” Maggie began. “That woman was running from Rupert’s place. I had gone into the kitchen to get a snack, and I just happened to peek out the window to look across at Rupert’s and there she was– running out his door.” She sobbed into a pink hanky.
Georgeton patted her shoulder. “If you mean Betty Beety, then I’ve already talked with her.”
“Did she tell you about throwing the murder weapon in the trash can?”
“What?” Georgeton was stunned.
“I saw her. She stopped at Rupert’s trash can and threw something in.”
“You saw her throw in a gun?”
“She threw in something.”
Sergeant Sprott crossed to the trash can and leaned all the way in. He did indeed find a recently fired gun right on top. He told Georgeton about his findings.
Georgeton turned to Maggie again. “You referred to Brown by his first name, were you two friends?”
She nodded. “We broke up last night. He just couldn’t be faithful to one woman and–“
“He was a heel!” snapped Allison. “Gave you nothing but heartache.”
“So the two of you broke up, eh?” Georgeton asked.
“Yes, but I’m not lying about what I saw. The woman threw something in his trash can!”
“How about the gunshot, ma’am, did you hear it?”
“No, I–” Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Now look what you’ve done!” Allison snapped. “Of course she didn’t hear the gunshot, his radio was too loud! But she did see the killer.”
Georgeton turned to Sprott. “You stay here with these two. I’m going to have another talk with Mrs. Beety.”

---

“It was just a couple tissues!” Mrs. Beety sobbed. “That’s all I threw in the can. When I saw him shot like that….I- I got queasy, and I saw a tissue dispenser. So I grabbed a couple to cover my mouth…”

---

“I’ll check the can for tissues,” Sprott said to Georgeton when he got back from Mrs. Beety’s trailer.
“Go right ahead. But it’s not gonna prove anything,” Georgeton replied. “She could have thrown both the gun and the tissues in.”
“But then we’re at dead end!”
Georgeton smiled grimly. “Wrong. The killer slipped up. Killers usually do.”

Whom does Lieutenant Georgeton suspect?
 
Answer: Allison White

If Allison White had “just got home” how could she know her sister didn’t hear the gunshot because “the radio was too loud”? The only way she could have known the radio was on at the time of Brown’s murder was to be on the scene. When confronted by this fact, Allison broke down.

“I visited him on the sly to have it out with him on how he’d treated Maggie. He was drunk. He turned the radio on real loud and grabbed me. I got free, but he came at me again. I saw a gun lying on the counter and– It was self-defense.”

The evidence supported Allison’s story. Brown’s blood-alcohol was found to be extremely high. Plus, the gunpowder residue around the bullet hole indicated he was shot at very close range.

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
I constantly collide into all the others,
The only one of 16 without colors.
Associated with English and banking and breaking,
The answer is right there for the taking.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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