WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MARCH 11th, 2026
Here’s The Story…..
Upon his coronation, a tribal king decided he wanted to upgrade his woven-grass-and-wood home.
So, he commissioned the best weavers in the village to build him a two-story home.
Weeks later, the grass-weavers finished, and moved the king’s property in. But the King wasn’t
happy. He wanted to build a king-size bed, but the massive stone throne used in the tribe was in the way.
Figuring a second-floor throne room would be more impressive, the King ordered the workers to
bring the throne upstairs, and then weave him a nice, big bed on the first floor.
A few more weeks later, the King finally moved in. On the first night, he and the Queen decided
to test out the bed. Their testing got vigorous, and they shook the walls of the house, causing the
heavy throne to plunge through the grass ceiling onto the bed, killing them both.
The moral of the story? When you live in a grass house, don’t stow thrones.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Puns for All Occasions…..
Why is it pointless to keep secrets from a bottle of wine?
Because it will eventually hear them through the grapevine.
Do you know a pickle’s favorite folk singer? It’s Bob Dill-lan.
Why do cheeses never worry about anything?
Because everything’s gonna brie all right.
Why are herbs so expensive? Because thyme is money.
What did the rooster say to the hen before leaving for work?
Have an egg-cellent day!
Why did the pepper shaker go to jail?
For a-salt with a deadly weapon.
Have you heard the new hit song by the boy band
from Vietnam? It’s call “Bao, Bao, Bao.”
Why did the tortilla handle the situation by itself?
Because it’s nacho problem.
Have you heard the Mexican weather forecast?
It’s chili today, hot tamale.
How do people say goodbye in Italy? Pasta la vista, baby!
Why are herbs punctual to all their meetings?
They wear watches to help them arrive on thyme.
What did the dinner roll say to the cream cheese?
You butter back off, pal!
Why did the pickle get special treatment?
Because he’s kind of a big dill.
Take as many pieces as you want.
There’s polenta to go around!
Chickpeas like to upstage everyone.
They always respond with “bean there, done that.”
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A king, wanting to host an elaborate wedding for his daughter, raised taxes on all citizens
of the kingdom by thirty pieces of gold. Everybody paid, except for one young count.
The king sent a tax collector, but the count refused. “This is unfair, and I shall not pay!”
The king sent the sheriff, but the count refused. “I will not support the king’s new tax!”
Finally, the king had the count arrested and thrown in the dungeon. He explained to
the count that failure to pay was treason, and he would be executed, yet still, the count refused.
So, the king had him brought to the top of the tower, and neck on the block, with the
executioner’s axe raised. The king asked the count to pay. He defiantly shouted, “Never!”
Then, as the executioner’s axe began to fall, the count shouted “OK! I’ll pay!”. But it was
too late, the executioner couldn’t stop the heavy axe, and the count was killed.
The moral of this story? Don’t hatchet your counts before they chicken.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
Released in 1998, what romcom featuring Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz centers on a man who tracks down his dream girl 13 years after a very unfortunate zipper malfunction ruins his prom date with her?
Answer: The correct answer was There’s Something About Mary! ‘There’s Something About Mary’ opens with one of the most infamous romcom disasters ever committed to film, a legendary prom night disaster involving a boy named Ted, a zipper, and a painful hospital visit, a sequence of events that caused every male in the audience to uncomfortably cross their legs in unison like a synchronized swim team. Thirteen years later, Ted is still hung up on Mary, so naturally he hires a private investigator to track her down, which is only considered stalking in MOST states. The payoff? He discovers that every man who meets her promptly loses his mind. The movie is very committed to its own idiocy, which somehow makes it work. Although, realistically, the “hair gel” scene will live on in movie infamy long after the only recognizable object in my coffin is my pants zipper. The film was a huge hit and helped set the bar for what mainstream romcoms could get away with. But yeah, in the end, it’s mostly a film about a woman helping herself to some hair gel.
Wendesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
Which 1996 science-fiction blockbuster features a global alien invasion repelled in part by a computer virus and a mildly inebriated suicide pilot?
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “, , and __”.
Example:
Clue = “Cook, Wine, Drinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”
- Shop, Swap, Dole
- Mop, Slip, Thump
- Mud, Wet, Smears
- Sock, Rock, Carol
- Claim, Debt, Scratch
- Steady, Filling, Label
- Warning, Soon, Flight
Answer: 1. Stop, Drop, and Roll
- Hop, Skip, and Jump
- Blood, Sweat, and Tears
- Lock, Stock, and Barrel
- Game, Set, and Match
- Ready, Willing, and Able
- Morning, Noon, and Night
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
My first is double twenty-one but twice of twenty-two,
Decipher it and you will see that statement is quite true.
My next two are just three apart, or, looking at the link,
You’ll have the answer easily and will not have to think.
My fourth is so more ways than one, so long as you can spell,
While my fifth splits first and second, so what is it? Can you tell?
It may seem like these words of rhyme are nonsense things to say,
Though the five together are right here (two ways) so what are they?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
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