WELCOME to THURSDAY MARCH 12th, 2026

 
Here’s The Story…..
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they
make is taking a stroll down his local high street.
As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. ‘Just Released –
New LP -Wasps of Europe & the sounds that they make – available now!’
Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
‘I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make.
I’d very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window.’
‘Certainly, Sir,’ says the young man behind the counter. ‘If you’d like to step into
the booth and put on the headphones, I’ll put the LP on for you.’
The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, ‘I am the world expert
on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those.’
‘I’m sorry Sir’, says the young assistant. ‘If you’d care to step into the booth,
I can let you have another 10 minutes.’ The world expert on European wasps and the
sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. ‘I don’t understand it’,
he says, ‘I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make,
and yet I still can’t recognise any of those!’ ‘I’m terribly sorry, Sir’ says the young man,
‘perhaps if you’d like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes.’
Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back
into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated.
‘I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and
yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP.’
‘I really am terribly sorry’, says the young assistant,
‘I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side.’ 😮😮
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

Puns for All Occasions…..
So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!?
It’s not the end of the world!

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant,
but then I changed my mind.

How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You matter.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.

A man walks into a zoo, where the only animal was a dog. It was a shitzu.

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

Why do they call they call it a ‘cheque’? Why not Yugoslavian?

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap,
shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

If Apple made a car, would it have windows?

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in
your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

Did you hear about the man whose left side was paralysed? He’s all right now.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A condescending acquaintance questioned an amateur musician.
“How’d your backyard concert go?”
“Great. The crowd spilled out into the alley.”
“I’ll bet you didn’t receive any material compensation.”
“Actually, I was given a portion of the gate.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I got a couple of boards and one of the hinges.” 😮😮

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which 1996 science-fiction blockbuster features a global alien invasion repelled in
part by a computer virus and a mildly inebriated suicide pilot?
 
Answer:  The correct answer was Independence Day! If you watched ‘Independence Day’ in a packed theater in 1996, you probably remember the audience cheering on at least three separate occasions. This movie decided subtlety was WAY overrated, and spectacle was where the money was. It worked. Aliens show up. Cities get vaporized. Bill Pullman gives a speech that somehow turns the Fourth of July into a global holiday. And somewhere in the middle of all that, Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith upload a computer virus to an alien mothership, a plot point that has launched a thousand IT jokes.
And then there is Randy Quaid’s Russell Casse. Crop duster, abductee, professional oddball, and ultimately, fighter pilot, Casse smells strongly of booze and bad decisions. Is it ridiculous? Oh yeah. Is it unforgettable? Pretty much, at least if you saw it at the time. How it aged is another question. But at least Randy Quaid and Will Smith could never attract any controversy.

 
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which drama released in 1997 stars Matt Damon as a troubled math prodigy whose therapist helps him confront his past?

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
 My first is double twenty-one but twice of twenty-two,
Decipher it and you will see that statement is quite true.

My next two are just three apart, or, looking at the link,
You’ll have the answer easily and will not have to think.

My fourth is so more ways than one, so long as you can spell,
While my fifth splits first and second, so what is it? Can you tell?

It may seem like these words of rhyme are nonsense things to say,
Though the five together are right here (two ways) so what are they?

Answer:  The answer that you seek to find, in words, is now shown here,
To understand the clues read on, I’ll try to make it clear.

The twenty-first of letters is U in the alphabet,
Double it, W is the letter you would then get.

Now the twenty-second letter of the alphabet is V,
When written twice together a W it could be.

I hope I’ve explained the clues to give W as letter one,
Now let’s move on, there’s four more letters to be done.

The second and third letters are three from each other,
But to scour the alphabet to find them, you needn’t bother.

If you were looking carefully you’d have seen in the third line,
The linking word, OR, fits this criteria just fine.

This makes the second O, and R would be the third,
Which gives us W, O and R as letters of this word.

The fourth letter in the alphabet is fourth in the answer too,
Which makes the fourth one D, only one more left to do!

Finally the fifth lies between the first and second,
In the alphabet, S splits W and O, that’s what I reckoned.

Combine the five, see that they’ve been used here a lot?
And in the seventh line, sixth word, the answer even got a spot!

So now you know the answer and those clues are less absurd,
It’s amazing what you can do with a word, oops, I mean WORDS!

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
(Estimate/Never)^(+Thinking) – 2

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳