WELCOME to TUESDAY MARCH 24th, 2026
Mistranslations We Love…..
Western Europe
Cocktail lounge, Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Hotel, Vienna: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals.
if you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Hotel lobby, Bucharest: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During
that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Doctor’s office, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
A laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here
and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In an Italian cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking
flowers from any but their own graves.
Hotel brochure, Italy: This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. in fact,
crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
In a Swiss Mountain inn: Special today – No ice-cream.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest
camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together
in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer in Germany: Do not activate with wet hands.
On the grounds of a private school in Scotland: No trespassing without permission.
Hotel elevator, Paris: Please leave your values at the front desk.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
PUNAGRAPHY……
Police were called to a daycare center today where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He gained his stature from pi.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Then a lady at the airport backed into the spinning propeller of a plane—disaster!
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the thief fell in the wet cement and broke both legs, he became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U. C. L. A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard; he did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
Which romantic sports drama released in 1996 and featuring Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding, Jr., and Renée Zellweger,
follows a flashy football agent who finds love while showing his client the money?
Answer: The correct answer was Jerry Maguire! Who knew you could make a film about football contracts and still make audiences all misty-eyed? Cameron Crowe, that’s who. He wrote and directed “Jerry Maguire” released in 1996, which blended sports, romance, and character growth into one quite quotable package. Tom Cruise stars as the title character, a high-powered sports agent who experiences a moral epiphany and promptly loses almost everything that made his career successful. What remains is one loyal client, wide receiver Rod Tidwell, played memorably by Cuba Gooding Jr., and a growing relationship with single mother Dorothy Boyd, played by Renee Zellweger.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
Which 1994 prison drama, adapted by Frank Darabont from a Stephen King novella, centers on Andy Dufresne, who is serving a lifetime sentence for killing his wife and her lover?
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
5 girls, Dani, Katie, Janet, Christine, and Sarah ALWAYS sit by each other. Each person gets there at a different time, buys different food, pays different amounts, and does different things during lunch. Can you put them together?
- Katie has gym before lunch, so she gets done eating by the time the other people go to the table.
- Christine is kinda shy, but she likes to listen to the person who gets there last gossip, while the person who only spent a dollar helps the other girls with their problems.
- Two people who get there at almost the same time, get almost the same thing, but the girl who gets there first has the more expensive meal.
- The people who eat the hot dogs found the line just for hot dogs that is faster than the other line, so they get their lunches faster than everyone else except the girl who tells jokes at lunch.
- Sarah, who brings her lunch from home, buys just fries, whose price has been raised so now they cost more than bagels but less than the meal of the day.
- Soda costs more than water
- Dani always complains about her lunch that she didn’t get a fresh one or it wasn’t round enough and then steals a drink of water from someone else.
- Christine gives Janet her quarters that she got back as change, because Christine doesn’t like to carry around change which Janet finds useful when it comes to buying her hot dog.
- One day Sarah was helping Janet with her algebra homework when she accidentally knocked over Janet’s soda by mistake. Thankfully only the 2 quarters, that Christine had given Janet, got wet.
- Katie’s lunch costs more than the girl who sits down last but less than the girl who does her homework.
Girls// Katie, Dani, Janet, Christine, Sarah
Lunch// Bagel, Meal of the Day, Hot dog and soda, Hot dog and water, Sandwich and fries
Cost//$0.75, $1.00, $1.25, $1.50, $1.75
Do during lunch// Homework, Counsel, Gossip, Eats lunch, Jokes
Order they sit down// 1,2,3,4,5
Answer: Katie – Meal of the Day, $1.25, Jokes, #1
Dani – Bagel $0.75, Gossips, #5
Janet – Hot dog and Soda, $1.75, Homework, #2
Christine – Hot dog and water, $1.50, Eats, #3
Sarah – Sandwich and fries, $1.00, Counsels, #4
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
There was a man climbing a ladder to somebody’s house, to the nearest window. He broke into the house and took what was most precious to the family. He climbed down, and the police were there waiting for him. He returned what he took to the police, and the police let him walk away. Why?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 