WELCOME to TUESDAY APRIL 14th, 2026

New Meanings for Old Words Part Two….
This page starts a new category of language humor, New Meanings for Old Words.
Acre n. Someone that aches
Afterdraft n. Life following conscription
Atomize v. To transform from a male cat to a female.
Carnation n. Country where each citizen owns an automobile
Childhood n. Cowl for an infant.
Colander n. Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.
Coroner n. A round corner
Cytology n. The study of real estate.
Diode n. A pair of two long poems.
Emotion n. Electron movement (also e-motion).
Evening n. The first Chinese woman God created.
Exercise n. Her former body measurements.
Immediate v. To refrain from mediating.
Liquor n. How a male animal cleans his mate.
Manometer n. An instrument for detecting disguised males in a group of females.
Maritime n. Hour of a wedding.
Nitrate n. The price after sundown.
Season n. Male offspring of Poseidon.
Syntax n. Tariff on immorality.
Tautology n. A riveting, gripping study.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
The Baker’s Assistant…
Many years ago, a baker’s assistant called Richard the Pourer, whose job it was to
pour the dough mixture in the making of sausage rolls, noted that he was running
low on one of the necessary spices. He sent his apprentice to the store to buy more.
Unfortunately, upon arriving at the shop, the young man realized that he had
forgotten the name of the ingredient. All he could do was to tell the shopkeeper
that it was for Richard the Pourer, for batter for wurst. [A groaner]

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
This Cold War spy thriller, based on a Tom Clancy novel, was released in 1990 and centers on a Soviet submarine captain going rogue with a cutting-edge nuclear submarine. What movie is it? 

   Answer: The correct answer was The Hunt for Red October! “The Hunt for Red October” was the first Tom Clancy novel to be adapted into a feature film. The story surrounds Captain Marko Ramius, a highly respected Soviet submariner in command of the Red October, a new Typhoon class submarine equipped with an experimental silent propulsion system known as the caterpillar drive, which sounds like a strange term to use in aquatic propulsion.
When Ramius heads into the Atlantic, both NATO and the Soviet Navy scramble to figure out whether he is planning an attack or something far more embarrassing for the USSR. Meanwhile, Alec Baldwin is CIA analyst Jack Ryan in his first and only outing in the role.
 
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!  
What low-budget indie comedy by Kevin Smith was released in 1994 and is set in a convenience store,
chronicling a single day in the lives of Dante and Randal?

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Emperor Akbar once ruled over India. He was a wise and intelligent ruler, and he had in his court the Nine Gems, his nine advisors, who were each known for a particular skill. One of these Gems was Birbal, known for his wit and wisdom. The story below is one of the examples of his wit. Do you have it in you to find out the answer?

Once Emperor Akbar ordered a horse to be delivered to Birbal so that he could easily move about the kingdom.

The stable-keeper however, was extremely jealous of Birbal, and decided to deliver a sick and weak horse to him. The horse was delivered to Birbal’s stable. The next morning, when Birbal went to proudly leave his house on a horse, he found the horse was dead. Looking at the weak and frail horse, he understood what must have happened. However he could not insult the Emperor or his gift, so he kept silent.

Unfortunately for him, the Emperor observed him entering the palace grounds on foot and, when he entered the court, the Emperor immediately questioned him about the horse.

What was Birbal’s diplomatic and accurate reply?
 
ANSWER:  Birbal knew he could not accuse the stable-keeper directly of sending a bad horse as, indirectly, he would be accusing the Emperor and, for that, he may well follow the horse into the nether world.

So he brightened up and told the Emperor, “Sire, the horse that you gifted me was so fleet footed that it covered the long and vast distance between earth and heaven in a single night!”

Hearing this, the stable-keeper, who went and hid behind a pillar when he saw Birbal come without the horse, rushed out and prostrated before the emperor, completely in a panic. He confessed his crime to the Emperor and begged for mercy. He also asked Birbal for forgiveness and waited for the Emperor to announce a suitable punishment for him.

Emperor Akbar was pleased at Birbal’s sense of diplomacy which prevented him from directly accusing the stable-keeper of sending him a sick horse and ordered the stable-keeper to provide Birbal with a good quality horse. As his punishment, the stable-keeper was ordered to clean Birbal’s stable and groom his new horse for a whole year in addition to his normal duties as the royal stable-keeper.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
I’m seven times seventy,
Plus a decade more.
This has all happened before.
Red and gold, I am no liar.
My nursery will be made
From my funeral pyre.

Who am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳