WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 20th, 2026
Here’s The Story….
A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying
the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to
allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears.
Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to NY and on West
to Yellowstone. They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the
grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals.
They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented.
The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day.
For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists.
The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no
sign of the missing men. They followed the trail of two bears, a male and a female.
They found the female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had
eaten the scientists because they feared an international incident.
They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find the remains of the
Russian. One ranger turned to the other and said, “You know what this means, don’t you?”
The other ranger responded, “Of course…”
“The Czech is in the male.”” 😯
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Funny Pun Jokes for Adults One Liners 😆
Fast jokes. No waiting. Just straight to the groan zone.
I used to hate facial hair but it grew on me
I told my fridge a joke. It cracked up
I tried to be normal once. Worst minute ever
My calendar and I are not on the same page
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me
I’m reading a book on glue. I’m stuck on it
My bed and I are in a long-term relationship
I asked the gym for help. They said I need more reps
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something
I told my shadow a joke. It followed me everywhere
I got fired from the clock factory. I kept taking breaks
I’m on a seafood diet but emotionally
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
In “The Lost Boys”, which type of supernatural beings were featured?
Answer: Vampires! The term “lost boys” was a reference to the Peter Pan story where boys never grow up. Similarly, the villains in “The Lost Boys” are young men who are a vampires who also never age. The 1987 movie was set in Santa Clara, California. The story had two teens, Michael and Sam, moving to Santa Clara and discovering the evil nature of some of the locals including a vampire pack led by David, played by Kiefer Sutherland.
Mondays July Movie Trivia of the day!
What television show is used to finish this line of a hit 80’s movie: “The Naked Gun: From The Tales of ________ ______!”?
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Hans Ernest Froopaloop, Jr. wants to drive his motorboat across a lake. At the same time, Heather wants to swim across the lake. So, Heather dons her gorgeous white string bikini and jumps into the lake at the same time Hans starts his motor.
They both follow exactly the same path and maintain a constant speed. Hans’s motorboat’s speed is exactly ten times as fast as Heather’s swimming speed.
However, when Hans is three-quarters of the way to the destination, the motorboat runs out of gas. Then it decides to ignore Newton’s First Law and immediately comes to a complete stop.
Now poor Hans has to row his boat the rest of the way. But he is such a slow rower, and Heather is such a fast swimmer, that she swims exactly four times as fast as he rows.
Who will reach the destination first?
Answer: Heather will make it first. Since Heather swims exactly four times as fast as Hans rows, it will take her as much time to swim the whole way as it will for him to row one quarter of the way, that is, from the three-quarter point to the end. Therefore, if the motorboat’s speed is anything short of infinite, Heather will reach the destination first.
MONDAY’s Quizzler….
There was once a massive evil being, hundreds of feet tall, and so grand that it took Gods from all over the world to just defeat him, after defeating his minions. You can see how those battles went in “Battles For the Gods”. Today they are prepared to attack the grand evil being face to face. The weak point would be attacked by whoever wanted to, and the weapon would be used by whoever could use it best. Each went one after the other, depending what needed to be taken out first. Also, each one had their own reasons for participating in the fight.
There were:
5 Gods: Thor, Zeus, Ra, Apophis and Loki
5 Weak Points: Center Eye, 2nd Nose, Right Ear, 3rd Mouth and Left Foot
5 Weapons: Plasma Pike, Water Whip, Fire Flag, Dirt Dagger, Air Axe
Order: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th
5 Reasons Why: Big reward if wins, it killed his sister, personal ambition, cocky, bored
Can you find out which God fought which minion where, when, how, why and with what weapon?
Clues:
- Loki did not fight the Right Ear, but did use the Dagger.
- Ra fought two behind Thor.
- The one who fought the Left Foot fought last.
- The one who fought the Center Eye, who was there because he was cocky, didn’t use the Water Whip.
- The Pike user fought with the Second Nose first.
- The last person to fight fought for a large reward.
- Apophis fought with the Axe for personal ambition.
- The Center Eye was fought by Ra.
- The Right Ear was defeated by a bored person.
- The Second Nose was attacked by someone to avenge the death of their sister.
- Apophis fought the Mouth, and he went right after Ra.
- Thor fought the second nose.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 