WELCOME to THURSDAY AUGUST 20th, 2026

 Signs of the times

SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY WEEKEND ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
 Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
“Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried
to rob someone at a gas station. They’re being charged with
attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC.” -Conan O’Brien 😯  

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!    
A prequel to its 1994 companion film, this story tells of how the two couples – best friends
and eventual neighbors – met, fell in love, and married. What film?

Answer: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)!
None of the main cast from the 1994 film “The Flintstones” reprized their roles for this prequel. This time it is Mark Addy (Fred) and Stephen Baldwin (Barney) who meet Wilma (Kristen Johnston) and Betty (Jane Krakowski) and ask them out. Unfortunately for Fred, Wilma’s family is set on her getting together with rich casino-owner Chip Rockefeller (Thomas Gibson). The action moves to Rock Vegas, where Chip hopes to discredit Fred in Wilma’s eyes at his casino.
 
Fridays July Movie Trivia of the day!  
Alcatraz is taken over by a rogue military unit along with 81 hostages in this 1996 action film with which title?

THURSDAY’s Quizzler….
Customer services at RightWrite headquarters received the following letter recently. Luckily their top puzzle solvers were able to determine the meaning and help Mrs Miggins. Can you work it out what her problem was?

Da S,

ld lk cmlan ab h f m .

hs ls aa n k ccl.

As can s, hs ls a mssng fm hs dcmn.

ld b v gafl f cld cc hs blm fhh.

Man hanks,

Ms Mggns.

Answer:  The letter was written on a typewriter which has a problem with the top row of letters

• they did not print. The letter should have read:

Dear Sir,

I would like to complain about the top row of my typewriter.

These letters appear not to work correctly.

As you can see, these letters are missing from this document.

I would be very grateful if you could correct this problem forthwith.

Many thanks,

Mrs Miggins.

Friday’s  Quizzler is….
My history is long in telling,
Though my origins are unknown.
I watch the tender earth most carefully,
Clothed in discards long disowned.
I guard against the raucous poachers,
Praying for a gust of wind that will animate my lifeless form.
The autumn winds will signal the completion of my job.
Maybe if I had a brain I’d choose to move south for the winter.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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