WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 24th, 2026

The difference between ‘Men’ and ‘Guys’

Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road.
Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.

Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.
Guys: read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.

Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces.
Guys: wear high school T-shirts they’ve actually owned since high school.

Men: balance their checkbooks.
Guys: balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row.

Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner.
Guys: claim to be feminists so they can let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.

Men: are afraid of becoming their fathers.
Guys: are afraid of becoming men.

Men: put you on the phone when their mothers call.
Guys: pretend you’re not there when their moms call.

Men: start their own businesses.
Guys: quit their jobs.

Men: are experts on women’s erogenous zones.
Guys: are experts on their own erogenous zone.

Men: order wine based on more than the price.
Guys: bring their own beer. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
 Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
College meals are generally unpopular with those who
have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
“What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly.
“What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.
“Glue.”
“Then it’s apple pie. The plum pie tastes like soap.” 😯

FRIDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!    
Alcatraz is taken over by a rogue military unit along with 81 hostages in this 1996 action film with which title?

Answer: The Rock!
Ed Harris plays the disgruntled military general who carries out this heinous act, threatening to launch deadly VX-gas rockets on San Francisco. He wants the government to pay 100 million dollars compensation for soldiers who have died on clandestine missions without any recognition.
The government, in turn, sends in an elite force to retake the island, along with a chemical weapons specialist (Nicolas Cage) and a criminal known for having escaped Alcatraz (Sean Connery).

MONDAYS July Movie Trivia of the day!  
I managed to get the Curtis family safely out of Yellowstone National Park via airplane while it collapsed. Who played me?

FRIDAY’s Quizzler….
My history is long in telling,
Though my origins are unknown.
I watch the tender earth most carefully,
Clothed in discards long disowned.
I guard against the raucous poachers,
Praying for a gust of wind that will animate my lifeless form.
The autumn winds will signal the completion of my job.
Maybe if I had a brain I’d choose to move south for the winter.

Answer:   A Scarecrow.

Monday’s  Quizzler is….
Given below are five pairs of words. Each pair sounds similar, but have
different meanings (they are homonyms). Can you find them?

Lift high – Bring down, destroy
Plant with ears – Labyrinth
Burial/Cremation formalities – Uses a pen and paper and forms legible words
To communicate with God – Carnivore’s target
Watery part of milk that separates when milk turns to curds – The route or the course traveled from one place to another

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳