Welcome, to Monday, March 15th! Here’s some information for those who take life too seriously!
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
   
Quotes of the Day 

HAM AND EGGS – A day’s work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. 

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? 

Conway’s Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on – This person must be fired. 

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. 
 
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, “Certainly, I can!” Then get busy and find out how to do it. 

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 
     
   
Joke of the Day* 
 
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.  Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her. 

After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”  He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”  Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.  “Well, Is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.   “No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.  “Well, What is it, then? What does she do?” his wife fairly shrieked.  The man grinned and said, “She’s a battery salesperson.”  Batteries?” cried the wife. “Yes,” he replied. She sells C cells by the sea shore.
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “OBJECTION! This court is after the truth. Not the opinion of the defendant’s father.” “You want my opinion? My son is a moron.” “I withdraw my objection, please proceed.”  

Answer: Big Daddy. The procecutor says this to the judge while Sonny is on trail for everything that went on while Kevin was away. Sonny says he wants his father to question him and that’s what was said. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Where is he, your mother!”
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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “…in the closet that’s my stuff, yeah if I bought it then please don’t touch…” 

ANSWER: “Irreplaceable” Beyonce. This is from Beyonce’s album entitled “B’day”.  

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “…then the drinks start pourin’ and my speech starts slurrin’…”
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Friday’s Quizzler is..  
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).

1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.
       
ANSWER:  1) sea + son = season, 2) ant + elope = antelope, 3) pen + chant = penchant
4) cast + rate = castrate

 
Monday’s Quizzler is…
The following humorous quotes are from various people. Try and decipher them. R=H and X=V

WRSI UQUCYKQFB SI XCYO SDWCYCIWSDE, KMW S TSDN SW PSZZ DCXCY YCUZQFC Q RQYNFJXCY KJJB- SW VQBCI Q XCYO UJJY NJJYIWJU.

S FJMZND’W YCVCVKCY PRCD S RQN KCCD IJ NSIQUUJSDWCN. CGFCUW UCYRQUI WRC WSVC S TJMDN JMW WRQW V&VI YCQZZO NJ VCZW SD OJMY RQDN…

S QV WPJ PSWR DQWMYC. 

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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