Welcome, ‏to Tuesday August 24th, Rules of Life………..

1. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

2. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship : “I apologize” and “You are right.”

3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.

5. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You might meet somebody!”

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her. . . believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?’

8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it’s not that important.

12. And finally… Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.  
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  
 
Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y   

In the game of life, it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. Bill Vaughan 

Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? Bob Monkhouse 

Life is wasted on the living.  Douglas Adams   

Life… is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. Douglas Adams   

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Woody Allen   

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. Woody Allen   

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. Woody Allen   

Life is a zoo in a jungle. Peter De Vries  
 
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Science has a language of its own which sometimes puzzles laymen. The word “obvious” is a case in point. A professor of physics, deriving some profound point of theory for the class, scribbled an equation on the board and said, “From this, it is obvious that we can proceed to write the following relationship…” and he scribbled a second and equally long equation on the board. Then he paused. He stared hard at the two equations and said, “Wait a minute, I may be wrong…” He sat down and began to write at his desk furiously, crossing out and rewriting for five minutes while the class sat in absolute silence waiting for the verdict. Finally, the professor rose with an air of satisfaction and said, “Yes, I was right in the first place. It *IS* obvious that the second equation follows from the first.” 
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  ‘You got to read at Sodom and Gomorrah I had to do all the work.’ 
 
Answer: Dogma! Loki said this to Bartleby when talking about the work he had done as the Right Hand of God, before he was kicked out of heaven. This movie teams up Ben Afflect, as Bartleby with Matt Damon, Loki in an adventure about heaven and Christianity, in a unique way.  
 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?’

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Drop…and let me see you bring it back up top, she hot like a boilin’ pot, on the stove like whoa!” 

ANSWER: Houston’s debut album, “It’s Already Written”, mixes both hip hop and R & B.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m not a part of a redneck agenda, now everybody do the propaganda, and sing along in the age of paranoia.”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser you have been given two (2) clues in each line. Each word differs by only one (1) letter, which I have given you. Your task is to discover the answers to the clues provided. The order of the letters does not change.

Example:

Remove _ _ _ I _ _ / _ _ _ U _ _ Justify

Answer:

E X C (I) S E / E X C (U) S E

1. specialist _ _ _ E _ _ / _ _ _ O _ _ ship

2. hull _ _ L _ _ / _ _ N _ _ indulgence

3. scorch S _ _ _ _ / T _ _ _ _ slight colouration

4. soft spread _ U _ _ _ _ / _ I _ _ _ _ grievous

 ANSWER:  1. expert / export, 2. bilge / binge, 3. singe / tinge, 4. butter / bitter    

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…   

This sentence describes a famous quote from a Shakespeare play. It is also an anagram of it. What is the quote?

In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! GREAT JOB JAZZZZZZ!         

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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