Welcome, ‏to Wednesday September 1, 2010. SIGNS YOU’RE A LOUSY COOK………. 

* Your family automatically heads for the table every time
they hear a fire siren.

* Your kids know what “peas porridge in a pot nine days
old” tastes like.

* Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the
family grabs forks and follows him.

* Your kids’ favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.

* You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for
your toy poodle.

* Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by
inviting him over for dinner.

* Your kids got suspended from school for trying to
smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags.

* Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven
timer.

* No matter what you do to it, the gravy still turns
bright purple.

* You burned the house down trying to make jelly.  
  
Hey I’m just saying! Have an refreshing Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here! 
 
Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for
a guy who’s only read two.”
– George Burns

“I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when
I hit a home run.”
– Babe Ruth

“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous
to offer me the position.”
– Mark Twain
 
“For those who may not know this: When the preacher says,
‘You may now kiss the bride,’ he’s only speaking to the
groom.” -David Gunter
 
“My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married.
She keeps asking me if I can support her, but she knows I
can…she’s always on my back.” –Scott Wood 
 
“Health officials revealed that criminals in British jails
actually have a better diet than patients in British
hospitals. Of course, both of those groups are eating better
than people in British restaurants.” -Jimmy Fallon 
 
  
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

The problem – There’s a box with a hole at each end and there’s a rabbit in the box. The rabbit sticks his head
out of the hole in one end, and a minute later he sticks it out the other end. Half a minute later, his head appears at the opposite end, a fourth of a minute later it appears at the end opposite to that one, an eighth of a minute later… etc., etc. How long will it take before the rabbit sticks its head out of both ends of the box at the same time? In theory, two minutes. In practice, no answer is possible unless you split hares. 

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “You’re the best Old Man. You should be free.”     

Answer: Return to Snowy River! This is said at the end of “Return to Snowy River” (1988) when Jim Craig (Tom Burlinson) sets the Brumby stallion free again. Jim says this to the stallion and the stallion gallops off and rears up a few feet away. In “Return To Snowy River”, Jim returns to the Harrison ranch to reunite with Jessica, after putting together his stake. However Jessica has another suitor, and the suitor steals Jim’s horses. Jim has to reclaim what is his.  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Artax! Stupid horse! You’ve got to move or you’ll die! Don’t let the sadness of the swamp get to you. You’ve got to try. You’ve got to care for me. Artax you’re my friend. I love you.”

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “You’re more than beautiful and I just wanna let you know that all I ever need is what I’ve got with you”?

ANSWER: Jesse McCartney! The song “She’s No You” is from Jesse McCartney’s debut album, “Beautiful Soul”. Before being a solo artist, Jesse was part of a group called Dream Street. 

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I was six years old when my parents went away. I was stuck inside a broken life I couldn’t wish away.”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

What common phrase does this complicated sentence represent?

4:37 PM is derived from the crucial element. 

ANSWER: Time is of the essence.

4:37: time
is derived from: is of
the crucial element: the essence 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…   

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

TLEM – Take letters 1,2 & 4
ELTA – Take letters 1 & 3
MSURT – Take letter 1
HMEYR – Take letters 2 & 3

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?    

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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