Welcome, ‏to Friday September 24, 2010. Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.   
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a GREAT weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     

q u o t e s  o f   t h e   d a y 

“They used to say a recession is when your neighbor lost his
job, and a depression is when you lost yours, but now they
say a recession is when Wall Street gets bailed out, and a
depression is what you get thinking about it.” -Jay Leno
 
“There was a 75-mile long traffic jam in China. It was so
bad, kids could barely get to work.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Grandparents complain that their families don’t call them.
But in their defense, a lot of the time that people call,
grandparents answer the blender.” -Craig Ferguson
   

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

We were four frugal young teachers. But a couple times a year we treated ourselves to the best Manhattan had to offer. As we approached the famous restaurant Lutece, we questioned whether we were dressed perfectly. Could we pass as urban sophisticates? The maitre d’ met us at the door, all smiles and bows. When he took my raincoat, I began to look over the cozy little bar and anticipate the charming basket of pastry that was our appetizer. Then the maitre d’ returned to our group, gingerly holding a fabric softener sheet that had fallen from my coat sleeve. “Madam,” he said, “Your Bounce.” 

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “It is in your nature to do one thing correctly: Tremble.”

Answer: Manhunter! The vastly under-rated and over-shadowed “Manhunter” showcases the first appearance of Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecktor. He is tapped by Wil Graham (William Peterson of “CSI” fame), an FBI profiler, to assist in finding the “Tooth Fairy” killer, Francis Dollarhyde. The evil and twisted Dollarhyde speaks to “Tattler” reporter Freddy Lounds, whom he has kidnapped and will murder because of articles Lounds has published. This film is based on the book, “The Red Dragon” by Thomas Harris.  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I know the Presidents’ Chief Advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don’t want to take advice from a man who got a ‘C minus’ in astrophysics.”

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “There’s a thing that they can’t touch ’cause ya know”? 

ANSWER: t.A.T.u. – “All About Us” t.A.T.u., the Russian girls, have come again with new and fresh music for us to listen to. “All About Us” is their first single from “Dangerous and Moving”. 

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Do You Want To”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser your task is twofold. You must first complete two (2) 4-letter words, side by side, reading left to right. Secondly, these two words within the brackets must form a 6-letter word when read from right to left.  Example: T[A _ _ _ _ A]T
Answer: T[ARO GNA]T 6-letter word: ANGORA

1. S[L _ _ _ _ P]E
2. S[N_ _ _ _ S]K
3. O[R_ _ _ _ D]E

ANSWER:  1. S[LAT ROP]E = PORTAL, 2. S[NAP MAS]K = SAMPAN, 3. O[RAL LOD]E = DOLLAR     

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

What’s wrong with these people?

Bob stands outside when it rains, touching a tree and getting soaked from above.

Jim stands out when it snows, rubbing a rock and getting frozen from above.

Jill stands out in hailstorms, stroking a stone and getting pelted from above.

Sally stands out in gales, fondling a flower and getting blown and battered from above.  

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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