WELCOME to Monday, January 10, 2010. The First Parent….
by Bill Cosby.
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to his kids.
After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”, Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”
“Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?”
“It’s over there,” said God, wondering why He hadn’t stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the First Parent asked.
“Uh huh,” Adam replied.
“Then why did you?”
“I dunno,” Adam answered.
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is reassurance in this story.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Monday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!
q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do it in.
Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.
The more trivial your research, the more people will read it and agree.
The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.
The most important item in an order will no longer be available.
The most interesting results happen only once.
The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
The number of people watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The obscure a bureaucrat may see eventually; the completely apparent takes forever.
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
Things Mom Would Never Say.
- “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
- “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”
- “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery”
- “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week”
- “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day”
- “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
- “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
- “I don’t have a tissue with me … just use your sleeve”
- “Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve”
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? ‘Dogs barking. Can’t fly without umbrella.’
Answer: Jumpin’ Jack Flash! This is the critical, encrypted message sent by super-spy Jack (Johnathan Pryce) to bank teller Terry (Whoopi Goldberg) via their computer-enabled communications arrangement.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Do you know how stupid he is? He thinks that the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.’
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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I want you to fly with me, Want you to fly, I miss how you lie with me
Miss how you lie, Just wish you could dine with me, Wish you could dine.
Answer:”Right Now” – Akon! This song is about Akon missing his girl but being a secret agent and spying on his old girlfriend. In the music video the song part starts one minute into the video.
Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008 try and identify which song or which artist. “I used to rule the world, Seas would rise when I gave the word, Now in the morning I sleep alone, Sweep the streets I used to own, I used to roll the dice, Feel the fear in my enemies eyes, Listen as the crowd would sing: Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
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Friday’s Quizzler is..
Can you decipher the musical instruments represented below?
1. P O
2. BA BA
3. ECLART
4. @ # $ %
ANSWER: 1. Piano (P and O), 2. Tuba (Two BA), 3. Clarinet (CLAR in ET), 4. Cymbals (Symbols)
Monday’s Quizzler is…
Can you find the one word for each list that can be added to the end of each word in its list to create a new word, compound word, or phrase?
round
show
throw
grow
out
be
in
sub
put
shake
get
hoe
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT SUPER SOLVING JOB LADIES!
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