WELCOME to Wednesday, February 9, 2010.Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Help From the Movies ….

1. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade at any time of the year.

3. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

5. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

6. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

8. All single women have a cat.

9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

10. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

13. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

15. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

16. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

17. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

18. If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath.

19. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 

Hey I’m just saying!  Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 “Television was better in the Middle Ages because there
wasn’t any.” – Craig Ferguson

“Facebook celebrated its 7th birthday. Honestly, I only
remembered its birthday because I saw it on Facebook.”
– Jimmy Fallon

“I base my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” – Gilda Radner

“It’s the Year of the Rabbit. I think rabbits are adorable. I love how their noses twitch and their feet make little key chains.” -Craig Ferguson

“A man in New York was arrested for stealing a garbage truck.
They knew he wasn’t a real garbage man because he kept
stopping to pick up trash.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Hard to believe it’s February. The Super Bowl is over. The football season is over. You know what that means guys… It’s time to take down those Christmas lights.” –Jay Leno

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink”! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left…. then to the right…. right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.” 
_______________________________________________________

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?‘My father was an evil abusive man…he killed my mother. She was sleeping, and then he slit his wrists. I was thirteen. I don’t talk about that much.’

Answer:’Zero Effect’
Bill Pullman is great as Darryl Zero, a reclusive, pill popping private dick, who seems to be only functional as the best and most unseen detective. Ben Stiller is good as his overprotective assistant. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????‘And how does our fable end? The centerfold…was she waiting on the beach for all eternity for him to return? Why not?’
_____________________________________________________________

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist.“Just a day, just an ordinary day, just trying to get by. Just a boy, just an ordinary boy, but he was looking to the sky.”  

Answer: Vanessa Carlton
From “Ordinary Day”. Vanessa’s first single, “A Thousand Miles”, was in the number one slot for several weeks.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000-2002 try and identify which song or which artist.“Hey, don’t write yourself off yet, it’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. Just try your best, try everything you can, and don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Tuesday’s Quizzler is..

Your task here is to change one letter in each of the following words, in order to find three (3) words with a common theme.

STEER
CRASS
PESTER

ANSWER: STEER –> STEEL
CRASS –> BRASS
PESTER –> PEWTER
Each new word is an alloy.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…  

The following word pairs are anagrams which can be combined to form the name of an animal or insect.Try to figure it out.

1.Log, Rail

2.Lone, Tape

3.Cot, Soup

4.Moral, Dial 

_________________________________________________________________________________ 

Answers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/