WELCOME to Monday, February 21, 2010. It all began with the Iphone…..

I celebrated my birthday in June, and Jennifer made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. My daughter’s birthday was also in June, so I got her an iPod Touch. Jennifer celebrated her birthday in December so I got her an iRon. It was around then that the fight started…

What Jennifer failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. But what I failed to realize is this inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

However the doctors say that I should be able to walk in a couple of months and that I will be out of the hospital next week!!

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” – Jimmy Durante.

“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” – Douglas Adams.”

The definition of a consultant: Someone who borrows your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege.”
– Times newspaper

“The first rule of business is: Do other men for they would do you.” – Charles Dickens.

“A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.” – Patrick Murray.

“Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.” – Will Rogers.

“The Scottish verdict ‘not proven’ means ‘guilty, but don’t do it again’.” – Winifred Duke.

“Gentlemen prefer bonds.” – Andrew Mellon.

“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.” – Franklin Jones.

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” – Spike Milligan.

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates.

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb.

“If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?” – Steven Wright.

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h
Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day. Small medium at large.
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?“I’m not a Roman … I’m a Red Sea pedestrian.”
Answer: Monty Python’s Life of Brian Monty Python
Denying his Roman ancestry.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????“Nervous?” “Yes.” “First time?” “No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.”
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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist.“Said you act like you’re ready but you don’t really know, and everything in the past, you wanna let it go.”

Answer: Usher

From “U Got It Bad”. This song was number one for a really long time.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2003-2007 try and identify which song or which artist.“She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..

Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence.
Example: Craft that might tip in the ocean. Answer: Canoe (Anagram of ocean)
1. Bit of brush
2. Opposite of unite
3. Writings of a steno
4. They affix without paste
5. Having less reason for fears
6. Animal that may need a shoer
Excerpted from an old Reader’s Digest
ANSWER: 1. Shrub, 2. Untie, 3. Notes, 4. Tapes, 5. Safer, 6. Horse

Monday’s Quizzler is…  

Decapitate me and all becomes equal. Then truncate me and I become second. Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started. What am I? 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND SWEETJAZZ5! SUPER SOLVING JOB LADIES!

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Answers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/