WELCOME to Wednesday, June 8, 2011. Fathers….

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHENYOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams: “I wanted Sega!”

In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes. Today, it’s Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.

In 1900, a Father’s Day gift would be a hand tool. Today, he’ll get a digital organizer.

In 1900, fathers said, “A man’s home is his castle.” Today, they say, “Welcome to the money pit.”

In 1900, “a good day at the market” meant Father brought home feed for the horses.  Today, “a good day at the market” means Dad got in early on an IPO.

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.  Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald’s.

In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then. Today, a father’s involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy
Scouts and car pools.

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention. Today, kids glance up and grunt, “Dad, you’re invading my space.”

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late. Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that
earring?”

In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.

In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated. In 2001, fathers are never truly appreciated. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a wonderful
Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” – Henry Winkler

“In the end, everything is a gag.” – Charlie Chaplin

“…when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however
improbable, must be the truth.” – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

“British scientists are now seeking permission to fuse human cells with rabbit eggs.
Their goal is to create a human with a lucky foot.” –Jay Leno

“General Motors is producing a driver-less car. Here’s my fear: I’ll buy
one of those driver-less cars, and I’ll be home on a Saturday night, and the
car will out driving without me!” -David Letterman

“This week in Texas, a fire broke out in a warehouse destroying 2,000
pounds of marijuana. Officials say more than 60 firefighters and 2,000 college
students responded to the blaze.” -Conan O’Brien

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone.  Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool. Scott was master of the situation. “Pardon me,” he told his
customer calmly. “I have a call on another line.”

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Spandex…It’s a privelege not a right!’ Answer:Hackers. You just gotta love a movie where the character names are ones like: Zero Cool, Acid Burn, Crash Override, Cereal Killer, Phantom Freak, Lord Nikon, and The Plague. The quote was said at Burn’s party.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??’What are you
gonna do, bleed on me?’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “All of the other pills, they were
different.”

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “They say you can’t turn a bad girl
good, but once a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever.”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..

The following humorous quotes are from various people. Try and decipher them. E=W and O=U

PFO DLH FHAP TK PFOHS FHDK. TOQ PFO DLH LAELPG TK WNNLQOBK.

W QFAX NP RGPDUWLQBWGQ QULQ KIKBPFHK ULQKG NK. UK GLWX W ELG TKWHS BWXWDOAFOG –
KIKBPFHK ULGH’Q NKQ NK PKQ.

QBLSKXP WG EUKH W DOQ NP MWHSKB. DFNKXP WG EUKH PFO ELAY WHQF LH FRKH GKEKB LHX
XWK.

Answer: YOU CAN ONLY BE YOUNG ONCE. BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS BE IMMATURE. Dave Barry

I TOLD MY PSYCHIATRIST THAT EVERYONE HATES ME. HE SAID I WAS BEING RIDICULOUS –
EVERYONE HASN’T MET ME YET. Rodney Dangerfield

TRAGEDY IS WHEN I CUT MY FINGER. COMEDY IS WHEN YOU WALK INTO AN OPEN SEWER AND
DIE. Mel Brooks

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…

Can you find the eleven hidden colours in the following paragraph:
Many injured animals are invited to live at the ‘Toronto Range’. Stop in kangaroo corner and marvel at the lovely creatures within. Dig over the potato patch to find small furry caterpillars, but don’t yell! Owls can be found swooping for edible rodents, earwigs or perhaps bluebottles in the undergrowth. The brown bear, Rob, lacks grace and may look like an ogre, enter at your own risk! Peacocks can be found showing their colourful wares, which look fantastic when viewed with our ultraviolet torch.

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