Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday April 18, 2012.  10 words that should exist…

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the  bathtub
tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of  running
over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over  and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum  one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of confection  (lollipop) you dropped
on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow  ‘remove’ all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one  armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto  the dust pan and keeps
backing a person across the room until he finally decides  to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open  here” spout
on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’  side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole  purpose seems to be walking
around asking diners if they want fresh ground  pepper.

8.PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and  forgetting whom you
were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses  its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting  the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six  inches away. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh is a sort of glorified internal  massage, performed rapidly and automatically.  It manipulates and revitalizes corners and unexplored crannies of the system that are unresponsive to most  other exercise methods.  ~Author unknown, from an editorial in New-York Tribune, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren.

Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.  ~Ken  Kesey

It is bad to suppress laughter.  It goes back down to your  hips.  ~Author Unknown

It was not a laugh but merely a loud smile. ~Author Unknown

If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy. ~Proverb

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child  wrote the following.”We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to  live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to  Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. “They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They  ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don’t know
who they  are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have  got it fixed, because it is all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.  There is a swimming pool,
too, but they all jump up and down in it with their  hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim.

At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He  watches all day so nobody can
escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go  cruising in their golf carts. My Grandma used to bake
cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody  there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the
same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can’t get past the man in the dollhouse to go out.
So  the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it  potluck. My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I  should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I  want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can  visit their grandchildren.”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
My lady, the tide waits for no man, but I swear it would wait for you.’ Answer: Shakespeare in Love Said by Lord Wessex

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Oh, great. You get the girl, I get the coroner.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What does this rebus mean?
Lies Fear Lies
ANSWER: Paralyze with fear  (Pair of lies with fear)

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence.
Craft that might tip in the ocean.  Answer:  Canoe (Anagram of ocean)
1. You cover a mattress with one of these 2. Dangerous thing for an alcoholic to begin 3. Feature on which a tire might be rated 4. Feeling about a poisonous adder 5. Weapon that a cavalryman bears 6. It doesn’t necessarily bring rain, but it could


Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers; Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


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