Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Chickens: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
Circumvent: The opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Cobra: A brasseire for conjoined twins.
Coffee: The person on whom one coughs.
Control: A short, bearded prison inmate.
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Craughed: To laugh and cry simultaneously.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Dachshund: A dog that is half a dog high and a dog and a half long.
Debate: What lures de fishes.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Depart: De white line down de middle of de hair.
Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your way.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.
Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Elbonics: The art of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a theatre.
Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Extravaganza: The spare vaganza you keep on hand in case you run out of vaganzas.
Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Fine: A tax for doing wrong.
Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained